My Interpersonal Communication Journal Entry for Conflict (Stonewalling)

(ENG)

Instructor: Rachel Santine

Interpersonal Communication

April 2021

Journal Entry: Conflict - Stonewalling

Stonewalling is putting up a figurative barrier that stands in the way of conflict resolution,

and has happened pretty often since childhood,

although it doesn’t happen as often as it used to.

In those days, if I ask “What have I done wrong” or “how have I offended you,”

they might tell me to shut up or give answers that obviously is neither helpful nor constructive,

nor the real reason why there is a conflict in the first place (example: “You were born.”)

I have since learned to find answers from mutual friends or grown-ups who work with those kids,

in the days when we were children.

Later on, when Jacob and Emily E. took me off of their friends list on Facebook back in about 2009,

I later met up with Jacob at a sibling’s wedding reception.

When I asked him what I did to have them take me off,

he told me “don’t worry about it.”

He was stonewalling me - denying me the opportunity to explain myself and my side of the situation;

a chance to refute.

Although I may later ask his sisters what they know about why Jacob and Emily took me off,

I later surmised that it was because of a silly and short-sighted post I made onto the

Facebook newsfeed about Tyler “C.J.” J. and chocolate milk.

Everyone was less mature in 2009,

save for those who later got dementia;

we have since progressed in our emotional and social intelligence

(while those with dementia regressed in the other direction)

so I have definitely learned a ton of lessons since then.

That situation with J&EE was the last real-life stonewalling situation I can remember.

It has taught me how to use networking to my advantage -

find friends and relatives we both know and find answers from them,

if the former friends stonewall me from getting answers from them directly.

Also, backtracking my actions can help in figuring out answers that stonewallers would otherwise deny me.

Personal Finance class discussion response to: Retirement, Wills and Estate Planning

(Originally posted to the HCC LearningZone discussion page about Retirement, Wills and Estate Planning on March 24th, 2021)

When it comes to retirement, I don't have a 401k benefit at my current job (Doordash) and I don't plan to retire anyway. I expect to work indefinitely.

Since the advancement of medical science will accelerate due to faster processing speeds and improved research methods, someday in my / our lifetimes, the cure for all aging-related diseases, and even aging itself, will arrive, thereby making the concept of retirement obsolete. As we would become clinically immortal, we would no longer have a need to retire.

If a future employer still imposes a mandatory retirement age despite new trends in life expectancy and extension and clinical immortality becoming a thing, I would take the company-sponsored pension and put that towards an education in a new trade / field / major and use that "vacation time" to go back to college in order to retrain for some of the newest, trendiest vocations of the time. Then I would find another job in that newly-trained field. Then I would work for another 30-50 more years until whenever I get tired of the job / company or reach an arbitrary time limit that the company imposes on their long-term employees. Then I would take another "vacation" for a few years (whether to retrain for yet another new job or pursue a hobby) then find another company / field / vocation to work in. These steps would repeat indefinitely. As far as I know, I can still receive a prior company's pension even while I work for a new employer so this would mean more income streams at once while I take advantage of being clinically immortal, therefore the newly acquired ability to work and live indefinitely.

Now in case an accident or still-uncured disease incapacitates me from the ability to work / function, I still need to prepare a living will. It may cost a few hundred dollars at an estate attorney's office, to have help in putting the will together.

Also, annuities are the opposite of life insurance and therefore insures beneficiaries who are to live longer lives, by providing an income after a certain age until death. Should clinical immortality arrive and become accessible to the common man and woman, annuities may be stretched to the breaking point and may become obsolete.

My Interpersonal Communication Journal for Week 9: Listening (Chapter 8)

(ENG)

Instructor: Rachel Santine

Interpersonal Communication

March 2021

Journal for Week 9: Listening (Chapter 8)

I have struggles with listening -

I can’t stop thinking random thoughts when I’m supposed to tune into somebody talking or a video I’m watching. 

When I try to learn and absorb from a video,

I try to multitask in hopes that practicing multitasking will help me get better at it.

Therefore, I play app games on my phone (with the volume down)

at the same time that I try to listen to a video.

Results are mixed - it depends on the video’s content and how interested I am in it.

I wish my mind wouldn’t wander while I didn’t multitask listening with something else.

I’ve learned from a dating coach is that what women like is for men to listen to them,

whether on a date, or during a normal conversation.

That is why on the next date I go on, I must try harder to not let my mind wander,

therefore to tune in to whatever she’s talking about,

and respond in ways indicating that I have listened and absorbed to all that I needed to.

My Interpersonal Communication Journal Entry for Chapter 7: Nonverbal Communication (Part 2)

(ENG)

Instructor: Rachel Santine

Interpersonal Communication

Spring 2021

Journal Entry for Chapter 7: Nonverbal Communication (Part 2)

One time in the after-show of the Christmas play I acted in, I was speaking to a Brianna W., and showed poor complementing and accidental contradicting. Earlier, before the play, I had changed into my costume, then realized I had not sprayed my mouth with breath spray yet. I didn’t want to give off a bad impression to anybody by having bad breath, so I tried to go back into the dressing room, which had already been locked by the time I realized I needed my breath spray. I begged the play coordinator to unlock the dressing room so that I could get a spray to freshen my breath, but she wouldn’t budge. I didn’t see any harm in taking a minute or two to unlock the door and let me get in to spray my mouth, but somehow the thought of doing me that favor must’ve been too harmful for her to accept, and I still don’t understand how, except perhaps that it was “too close to the time of the play starting.”

I shook my mind off of my breath during the play, but in the after-play reception, I spoke to a good friend who was a potential romantic interest. (We “felt” it but neither of us expressed it outwardly.) I was so worried about how my breath was smelling and whether she was noticing it, with the inability to freshen it up, that I looked away while talking to her solely due to that mental preoccupation. Her tone became less friendly, but I didn’t think to explain why I was behaving like this probably because I was too preoccupied with my breath more than how I was broadcasting my visual signals to her. I was answering her with affirmatives, but my nonverbal signals were not a matching complement, so that made her feel something was off about me.

We were going to partner up in the soundbooth at the Christian Challenge campus ministry the following semester but that plan fell through because of various reasons, and likely my mixed, contradicting signals were a part of those reasons too. I stopped attending the ministry regularly and punctually for other reasons as well, so Brianna teamed up with my alternate - Tabitha I.

Years later, after I had moved to Hutchinson, she contacted me again through Facebook and a video chatting app to discuss about her MLM scheme (Amway). I wasn’t interested in paying into another pyramid scheme, and I couldn't afford to at the time anyway, but I had time to spare, so I wanted to learn about that business anyway and what was so good about it, so I let her talk to me. Besides, as a people-pleaser, it wasn’t in my nature to turn her down, since we were still friends the last time we met in person. In those e-meetings, I finally managed to explain myself by reminding her about the post-play reception at Cloud County Community College years earlier, and why my body language didn’t seem right while talking to her - when I explained that it was because I was worried about my bad breath, she was quite understanding and helped me move on from it. I gained a peace-of-mind in having finally had a chance to explain my non-verbal actions.

I have had a habit for years to keep a container of breath mints or spray in my pocket, as it seems to be a confidence-booster for when I socialize / communicate.

My Interpersonal Communication Week 8 journal: Nonverbal communication (Chapter 7, Part 1)

(ENG)

Instructor: Rachel Santine

Interpersonal Communication

February 2021

Week 8 journal: Nonverbal communication (Chapter 7, Part 1)

I have learned that 93% of a job interview is non-verbal. That is why secretly recording the interview with my phone’s voice recording app while it’s in my pocket will not be entirely helpful when a job coach listens to the recorded interview to give feedback on my job performance. To surreptitiously film myself at an interview may require a miniature drone with a tiny video camera. The drone would have to be about the size of a house fly but have a long enough battery life and “know” how to follow me and stay on my side of the door at all times. Alas, I don’t think such a drone has been invented yet, but if it does come along some day, it could film from a bird’s-eye view, my interview performance. Employers can’t know about that kind of recording though.

As someone who grew up with an autism spectrum disorder (high-functioning, known as Asperger’s Syndrome), I often did not realize what non-verbal signals I was giving off, which is why so many people couldn’t understand me and therefore considered me a lost cause not worth having a friendship with. I think it would’ve been helpful to have some kind of “social coach” observe me and the ones I interact with so they could point out any nonverbal cues and etc. that I should have picked up but missed. It’s no wonder I’m still single today, and that’s why I hope for this class to improve my social performance.

My Physiology Log & Journal for Interpersonal Communication - February 7

 Instructor: Rachel Santine

Interpersonal Communication

Hutchinson Community College

Spring 2021

 This journal entry has been copy/pasted from my assignment document.

2-7-2021:

4:08 PM - I sleep into the afternoon these days because I don’t have a lot of structure in my life.

I like to sleep for as long as it makes me comfortable,

so since I slept through to around 3:30 this afternoon, I feel pretty swell now.

The freezing temperatures froze the water bottle in the left dash cupholder.

Therefore, I can’t pull the bottle out of the cupholder now,

but hopefully when I dash for the next several hours this evening,

the heater will thaw the water and let me pull it out of there again.

I decide not to use gloves because I don’t go outside for a long enough time to need them.

I stay indoors much of the time.

The cold was a little biting, and made my nose a little runny.

Oh well, at least I was only outside for 2 minutes then went to Rimmer to finish this journal,

so I’m relieved that I’m now out of the cold.

FYI: I don’t turn on the heat at home because I can just let the other apartments’ heat radiate into mine.

That’s why my apartment’s temperature never falls below the upper 50s.

Saves quite a bit of money that way.

At least I’ll not be back home for a while, so I’ll get to enjoy the heat at Rimmer, and my SUV;

what a relief to look forward to.

4:40 PM - My journal is now complete, now that I’ve made a graph by hand.

I don’t think I’ll be able to plot them on a computer at the present time.

I hope Rachel would please show me examples of other students’ graphs,

so that I can look upon them as an example and template for how they ought to be done.

I’m not sure that I did my graph right,

and hopefully the times that she had us write these journals were just suggestions,

as I don’t get up at the same time as most other students.

So I feel better that these journals and graphs are done. 

I’m looking forward to making bank while dashing this evening,

because the Super Bowl is making me and other dashers expect to have a ton of business.

My Physiology Log & Journal for Interpersonal Communication - February 6

 Instructor: Rachel Santine

Interpersonal Communication

Hutchinson Community College

Spring 2021

 This journal entry has been copy/pasted from my assignment document.

2-6-2021:

4:56 PM - I'm waiting in eager anticipation for the meal at the soup kitchen.

As long as it's not taco salad, I'll take two containers.

If it's taco salad, I'll only take one.

It's not as appetizing as, say, beef noodles.

I'll eat these meals on the go in between deliveries while dashing.

9:47 PM - I'm waiting at a Taco Bell drive thru to pick up 2 customers' orders.

I feel slightly suffocative due to the exhaust fumes of the car ahead of me.

It makes me worried that I'll not get my food in time before it's considered "late."

Also, my brain cells might be getting killed due to the fumes.

It's too cold outside, but too hot inside,

so I'm waiting in my Lexus with the window rolled down and the heater running.

If I don't get help tomorrow at Rimmer on how to make a graph,

I guess I'll draw one with a graphing markerboard from the math lab.

Then I'll take a picture of it when it's done and send that to Rachel along with the journal.

10:39 PM - I'm waiting in another line in the McDonald's drive-thru this time,

feeling kinda the same as I did at Taco Bell.

I just hope the wind doesn't blow the exhaust of the Chevy Silverado ahead of me, towards me.

I wonder how people coped with each other's car exhausts back when drive-thrus were new in the 40s,

before all those emission regulations. It must've been so much harder to breathe back in those days! 

In the meanwhile, I'm listening to silly music to lift my spirits. I don't think I should name it at this time.

My Physiology Log & Journal for Interpersonal Communication - February 5

 Instructor: Rachel Santine

Interpersonal Communication

Hutchinson Community College

Spring 2021

 This journal entry has been copy/pasted from my assignment document.

2-5-2021:

7:35 PM - I am now waiting at Little Caesar's on 30th street to pick up an order through DoorDash,

while I'm on my evening shift.

I feel like my impatience is slowly growing because they're taking their sweet time getting my customer's order ready. 

Oh, it was already ready and waiting in the warmer.

Better get it now and hurry to the customer's address.

8 PM - I feel glad because I finally found the customer's house and dropped off the goods,

and I'm now getting paid decent for it.

Took me long enough as the address wasn't straightforward but I got directions via text message and made it there.

10:40 PM - I'm feeling a little tired and content that I made it past my goal of $80 today.

If there are no new delivery orders coming to my Dasher app by 10:45, I'm going home.

It's getting slower this time of the night.

I hope I can get Rachel, my instructor, to show me a "template" of the ideal journal that meets all her parameters.

A journal from the previous semester that earned an "A" might be a great example of such a template.

That way, I'll no longer feel lost and will hopefully figure out how to do the journal correctly.

I need to feel like I know what I'm doing so if she could please get me a template example,

that would be best and ideal.

10:46 PM - I got an $8 order to pick up at McDonald's minutes ago.

I decided this was worthwhile to accept.

Now I'm at a drive-thru line and it's pretty long.

I feel unsure about how long the line will take to move far enough to get me to the window and pick up the order.

But at least I'll be $8 richer by the time I deliver it to my customer.

My Physiology Log & Journal for Interpersonal Communication - February 1

Instructor: Rachel Santine

Interpersonal Communication

Hutchinson Community College

Spring 2021

 This journal entry has been copy/pasted from my assignment document.

2-1-2021:

Mood is a predominant emotion or a conscious state of mind. (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/mood)

Emotion is a state of a feeling, or a type of mental reaction. (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/emotion)

At 10 PM tonight,

I had recently wrapped up listening to my audio-textbook for Interpersonal Communication on the VitalSource Bookshelf.

I felt content that I was done, also a little relieved.

I still feel overwhelmed because I still have to do a journal that will be a project lasting the entire semester.

I’m not sure that I know how to make a graph on Google Docs, as our instructor asks us to make.

I’m going to need directions on that.

I would prefer it better if I’d get offered a set of substitutions I could choose from in place of a graph,

because I’m not sure I’d do well with the idea of just foregoing graphing entirely and therefore docking my journal grade.

My journal will need to be on Google Docs, on Google Drive,

therefore accessible from any computer or phone where I can log into my Google Drive.

Paper journals can get lost or destroyed, and I suffer writers’ cramps anyway;

I don’t like to write down anything by hand for long because of that.

A mood is a particular close range of similar emotions to one another.

Emotions are feelings of which there’s a wide range.

At 10:30 - I have by now delved deeper into this journal assignment and answered questions in the MOODS-Perc DOC 2.

Now I feel the slight need to relieve myself and thankfully,

the restroom is nearby to this computer station at the main floor of the Rimmer learning center.

I feel content still, that I’m making progress.

I had Asperger’s Syndrome while growing up, and got rediagnosed to Schizotypal Personality,

and Borderline Personality Disorder,

so I feel I still have vestiges of social skills deficits that I therefore enrolled in this class to take care of.

I feel like I often don’t feel empathy for others,

and I would like to feel it more often so I can relate better.

But I think my tendencies to feel sympathy are just fine.

Son of W.A.Y. parody: Packard's Warranty Repairs

• Packard's Warranty Repairs

• Contrafactum of "Queen of Hearts" by Juice Newton.
• This parody is to be about the failed a car company that survived the Great Depression but couldn't update their cars and its features as fast as the market needed them to by the 50s.  By 1955, Packard was ~$30,000,000 in the red due to warranty repairs.
• This tune was thought of when I watched a documentary about the Packard Motor Company and at the part where a narrator mentioned warranty repairs in 1955 putting Packard $30m in the red.
• The instrumentation could be altered to sound like the stereotypical "'50s pop music" vibe. (Doo-wop, et al.)
• Music video ideas
• A montage of photos and videos of 1955 Packards and/or repairs being done on them are to be shown in the music vid.
• Lyric ideas
•  
• LYRICS
• (To be penned sometime.)