Thursday, October 08, 2009

Why I should've been born on Y2k. (Reasons 41-60) (Personal Entry)

This is the third installment of the 100-reason series. (There could be more than 100 if I think of any extra.)

Click here for Reasons 21-40

41. By the time I'm 16, we could have driverless, autopiloted cars who chauffeur the occupants around for us. And actually, underage kids could operate them too, just not the manual controls.

42. By the time I'm married, our wedding rings could have microscopic GPS chips embedded inside them so that we never lose them again! My Mom lost her wedding ring years ago. It could've gone into the trash, or a heating vent, or dug into the back yard. With these GPS chips able to give you depth and location down to the inch, you'd be able to find where exactly it is in the landfill, should you need to go there.

43. The OLPC laptop (a laptop for kids) came out in late 2007, so I could have very well gotten it on my 8th birthday! See the child's laptop.

44. I could've had my first cellphone by this year! (In real life, I got my first cellphone when I was 18. Rather late, you think?) These are cellphones for kids.

45. In real life, I used to enjoy Neopets, but mostly in secret, until a few years ago. But if I were born on Y2k, I would get to OPENLY enjoy Neopets! I would be in "Childhood Heaven," more or less, with that gaming site! This is Neopets.

46. (I know college tuition rises faster than inflation, BUT:) There would be so many online schools competing against each other by '18, that they would need to undercut one another's tuition prices in order to remain competitive. Without all the extra overhead that real brick-and-mortar colleges need, online courses would be a fraction of the cost, so we would need not worry about paying back student loans as soon as we graduate. Article over $99/month online courses and The site itself, StraighterLine, that offers it

47. I am a man of the Internet, and I didn't get to see the first taste of online life until 1995. I wonder what kind of kid I would become if I grew up on the Internet all the way from Kindergarten. Would I turn out better?

48. I would not have to hide the fact that I watch The Cedarmont Kids' music videos. (Sunday School songs for Christian children.)

49. I would be able to have songs by The Cedarmont Kids as my cellphone's ringtones, all without an age-related backlash. (Sure, I may get a religious-related backlash from some anti-Christian kids, but that's besides the point.)

50. I would get to love Tomoe Shinohara and openly listen to her songs without an age-related backlash.

51. Without needing to commit HOURS to homework, I'd get done with them in maybe 30 minutes, then spend the rest of the night playing Counterstrike and other award-winning games. (I don't know if my parents would let me play WoW. If they do, at what age would they let me start? It costs $15/month and can drain someone's life quite a bit!)

52. With an electronic keyboard, my nimbler hands (they get less apt for keys as we age) would actually have FUN practicing the piano because I'd get to choose many instrument options (as many as HUNDREDS on an electronic paino). More than that, if I had to keep practicing after nightfall, I would just plug in headphones so that I would not disturb the others.

53. In real life, energy drinks only came around in my teen years. If I were a kid under 10 years old, I would be mischievous with them. I would have an energy drink-chugging contest with a friend. Before that, I would drain my can into a bottle and refill the can with water, but give the friend the real energy drink. 20 minutes after we chug, I would have one heck of a time observing my friend. His one-kid side-show act would be hilarious!

54. Electric SINGING TOOTHBRUSHES! I don't remember seeing them in my childhood, but in today's childhood, they'd be in many places. I'd get to listen to my favorite songs as I brushed, and knew when to finish only once the song does. Wow, I'd have so much fun brushing my teeth!

54a. Wait a minute! Don't singing toothbrushes have RINGTONES??? Are we able to upload any song we want onto them? If we can, then my childhood would be even MORE exciting!

55. Studying outside of school would be even more fun with these Pokémon-themed workbooks!. Sure, this Amazon listing shows only math workbooks, but I'm sure one could find Pokémon-themed workbooks for other subjects if they look hard enough.

55a. I even found a Pokémon-themed Phonics workbook! Wow, wouldn't my childhood be far better if I was a Y2k kid??

56. Instead of needing to print out all my assignments like I used to, I'd be able to email them to my teachers! In real life, I couldn't do this until college.

57. By the time I'd be in college, my eyeglasses or contacts would have a heads-up display! (See my album: "Uninvented Inventions.") Also, here is a Popular Science article over this.

58. My childhood in real life was filled with computer crashes, because their OSes were more primitively built. I would save many, countless hours of lost productivity working on the latest OSes in my childhood if I was born on Y2k.

59. My bedroom would be heavily adorned with bright, puerile colors. It is said that vivid murals stimulate minds better than a monotone-colored room.

59a. Or if I already mentioned the content of #59 on a previous set, here is something else: I would enjoy and fall in love with my pajamas. If I were 9 today, I'd wear pajamas adorned with pokémon all over them!

60. You know about those entertainment centers that contain arcades, mini-golf fields, laser tag rooms, go-cart tracks, and the whole kit-and-caboodle?

60a. For one, many of the entertainment centers' features were not around when I was a child in real life.

60b. Second, the fun factor would feel more intense as a child than if an adult played the same things. This is because there would be no fear of embarrassment in partaking in juvenile activities (unless I'm with my child,) and second, I wouldn't feel as "jaded" as I am now. Being jaded makes fun activities not as fun as they used to be.

(More to come on a 4th installment...)

1 comment:

  1. Great to read your reasons, especially the technology ones.

    One thing that would be great if you were born in 2000 is that you would be using Windows 7 all your life, and you would have a little laptop in school.

    (I don't know whose operating system you are evangelising).

    The only Pokemon pyjamas I know of or can imagine are probably the ones with Pikachu on them.

    All the 9-year-olds I know seem to be wearing monkey hoodies. Would that appeal to you at all?