Sunday, July 26, 2009

COMING OUT: Having Asperger's Syndrome can get expensive. (Part VI) (Personal Entry)

Having Asperger's can get expensive

You see, with Asperger's, no one (as far as I could tell) wants to be my roommate. I also was hit with a second misfortune of never having a brother. Moreover, my nearest sister is 6 years my junior.

Now, when people have roommates, their rent is generally cheaper because it is diluted amongst them all. Instead of, for example, $400 per month, three roommates only need to pay $133.33 per month. I, on the other hand, have a one-bedroom apartment that is $345 before gas. (At least that is the only utility I pay.)

Maybe I should just keep having interviews to become somebody's roommate because after all, doesn't Practice Make Perfect? (Persistence Makes Perfect as well. Remember how many attempts Edison made on his light bulb?)

Especially without a real income to live on

I think having Asperger's is an admittance on the same caliber as admitting the income I get. This is, I suppose, where the jerks are weeded out. Since job interviews practically embody social skills, it's harder for me to land a job. I've practically been in a recession all my life, and this recession makes it like a full-fledged economic depression for me.

Job recruiters/interviewers aren't programmed to have sympathy; they're programmed on finding what applicants can bring to the company. Telling them about my Syndrome will just fan the flames of rejection. (Even though inside, I hope they have sympathy so I'm tempted to tell them, but I've kept myself from doing so.)

Being unable to persuade the employer to land me employment is why I receive SSI at $674 per month. Since my rent + utilities are over half my income, I also rely on student loan refunds to live reasonably. At any rate, SSI is not a respectable form of income (unless I was blind, an amputee, or someone horrifically obviously disabled.)

Student loan refunds didn't earn me one certain friend

This was proven when I told "Sierra Saxtone Koopa" (name changed; class of '04, and Lindsey Altwegg Snider's mutual friend) that I was living off of student loan refunds because "since I'll be leaving for Japan soon, I can't get a job now so I live off of student loan refunds for the time being," she thought something was fishy. (I did not want to admit my SSI, my real form of income, to her. I hated to imagine what she would think.) I could surmise this because even though we ended on a good note at the Target parking lot in the February of '08, I later sent her a friend request and she refused. I asked her what was wrong, if there were any false rumors, misconstruals, or anything she heard wrong about me, and she never responded. That's why I'll try again whenever I land a real, respectable job, because maybe she only friends people who are employed.

Either the Apocalypse or the Navy will take care of them

The student loans are so over the roof now, I just hope the Mayan 2012 date is indeed the start of the apocalypse, so I can see my loans destroyed with Sallie Mae while I live in a bomb shelter somewhere. Failing that, I hope to get my bill of health cleaned enough so that I can join the Navy and have them pay my loans through my serving.

"Being yourself is the only way to be"

That is what Andie Spry (Evan Roberts's fiancé) told me. But a 10-year-old also acts like himself. The only catch is, he still has much to improve on. At least he's at the PHYSICAL age where his immaturities are largely forgiven and let slid.

I can't possibly be older than 17 - socially and emotionally, with this syndrome. So I wish to look the age that I am social. Sister Lisa Enrico suggested drinking lots of water to flush out the toxins that make me look older. She also suggested Oil of Olay. (There is probably no men's version.)

So acting this way while looking my true age is what I fear will make me look foolish.

I also feel tempted to act different only to anyone who would hate me for being my true self. But people say that could cause problems if the other people I act like my true self around, cross paths.

To repeat what I said on Part V, how about I take a drama class!

(Continued on Part VII)


  1. People can be harsh especially on 17 year olds. I remember because I was one!

  2. Just try and act your age, part of life, no matter what your inflictions are is trying...