Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Reflections on Dan-&-posse's class comments (Personal Entry)

***NOTE DECLASSIFIED JANUARY 1, 2009. There isn't much reason to keep this note a secret any longer.***

This is for Garrett to analyze. I noticed a new "Note Privacy" setting panel and set it so only Garrett Fine can read this. If anyone else read this without looking over Garrett's shoulder, Facebook has a very big bug to fix!

June 7th Addendum: Now Craig (yes, the Wiganese Craig. I know it's "Wigganers" but "Wiganese" sounds funnier. What would anyone else think about this unconventional demonym?) can view and also comment on this note. I have a feeling that from being drunk last night, I might forget what Craig has told me face-to-face about this note. (I'm trying to retain his memory here, but there remains the chance of my memory going out with the alcohol.) In that case, I suppose Craig can comment a rehash of what he told me last night. Or he could surprise me and give some advice he didn't give face-to-face last night.

June 10th Addendum: I don't know how Sharon found out I mentioned her here, but I'll ask Garrett about it later because the most likely explanation was that she looked over Garrett's shoulder while he read this note without noticing her. (Or even that Garrett actively showed her the note.) Now that she knows and is curious about what I said, I feel a compelling to let her see this. Who knows how many other people Garrett showed this to, or whether Sharon found this note through some other means I hadn't even thought about!

In Thursday's Japanese class on May 8, while the teacher was instructing, right out of the blue, Dan disrupted the teacher and asked me whether I've found a girl yet.

Knowing how inferior and uncomfortable I'd feel if I told him I'm still looking, I tried stalling and said, "That's a "loaded" question. Why do you ask a random question, out of the blue like that?"

I don't remember what his response was. My memory keeps failing me once again. Then I asked him who his girlfriend was, and he said "My Chuugokujin" (or something like that) who went to our GaiDai.

Her English nickname was Cici and there were two Cicis here. Shia said he had the other Cici, but as a "tomodachi" (a regular friend.) So I think I asked, "So you're still looking, aren't you?" I guess he said he was.

Then being lulled into a false sense of (What's the accurate term, Garrett? I don't think "security" fits it. Or it does, but the word gets too cliché.), I told Shia, "Yeah, I'm still looking."

Then Shia, Dan, and someone else laughed. I tried to figure out feverishly for 3 seconds how this was funny, and I don't think this was remotely funny in the least. I guess from looking at the way my face looked at the moment, Dan said, "Oh I'm not laughing at you."

I didn't buy that. I think Dan has been a pathological liar around me. I think he only said this to save his tail. This question didn't occur to me until after class, but I wish I would've asked, "Then why didn't you laugh about what Shia said???"

I think Shia only said he was still looking and that his girlfriend was a regular friend just so he could set me up!

Other times in that class, I'd hear Dan mutter some things about me to people next to him that was out of my earshot but not out of the earshots of others closer to him. When class finished, I asked Sharon what Dan whispered about me and Nicole cut in and said, "You should ask Dan himself. Asking Sharon would put her in a bad position."

I told Nicole, "If Dan didn't keep changing his story, then I'd ask him." I conveniently don't remember what Nicole said to that, but Sharon said "My memory's like a goldfish; I can't remember and that's why I'm not doing so well in Japanese."

I should've asked Nicole why she thought it was a "bad" position and that if Dan only said good things about me, then she wouldn't be in such a bad position, now would she? But I never got around to that.

Later in a movie screening for a class assignment, I asked Dan what he whispered to the classmates next to him back in that class and he said, "I said I love you."

"I know I heard more than that!"

"I love you, I love you."

Humans have an ability to corroborate the muttering sounds with what was purportedly said, and I would've known the mutters sounded similar, but they really sounded vastly different.

I've been having hearing issues anyway, so if a byouin gives me a hearing aid, I can never be lied to again (when it comes to figuring out who muttered what.) Supersonic hearing would be a priceless social boon.

Why don't the others want to help me when it comes to what Dan and the others have been saying about me? Why must they keep covering Dan's tail to keep me from knowing what his true motives and meanings are?

Now I've made some future plans on how to deal with Dan.

If he asks me a personal question in the middle of class, I might ask him to wait 'til the end of class.

If he asks me an uncomfortable and/or loaded question, I plan to take out my cellphone and record video of this question & answer session. Yes, in Dan's plain view. Maybe that'll get him to back off, or maybe he'll not faze a bit. Of course I can only take out my cameraphone AFTER he asks that question, so I'll just repeat it to the cameraphone. Once the recording's all done, I'll show it to Garrett for analysis.

Walking social minefields

Some people are densely-mined social minefields. Others aren't nearly as dense. I think Dan's field is loaded with mines, but not as densely as say, Ross's and Andrew's.

Everyone else "navigates" these "social minefields" too. Thanks to their better social skills, they wear the equivalent of a Ground-Penetrating Radar visor to see exactly where the mines are.

As for me, an older visor only tells me "This is a dense minefield," "This is a lightly-mined minefield," or if I know someone well enough, I may see exactly where the mines are like others can with anybody.

All too often in my opinion, I don't know whether any of my questions, answers, or responses given to the other person are like stepping on a live mine. They could take it well (and I don't step on a mine, or step on an inactive one), or not (and I step on an active one.)

If you're in college, I hope you understand this analogy perfectly.

Now the questions

(many previously mentioned, but again to organize them all together:)

1. Some people put off dating until they have enough free time in life. Why shouldn't Dan and his posse consider that?

2. So Shia DID say he was single just to lure me into some trap, did he?

3. How is it conceivable that it could it remotely be funny when I said I was still looking? Why did I feel somewhat infuriated instead? (And next time, I'll just tell them or anyone else who asks, "I'm told to feel a "spark" from a girl before I become more than a friend to her. More than that, I'll go for it when I'm not too busy, and I have so much to do these days. And I plan to find the love of my life in Korea next year.")

3a. Do you recommend that I say what I put in parentheses above?

4. What do you think Dan would've said if I asked him at that moment, "Then why didn't you laugh when Shia said he was still looking???"

5. I don't think I can buy Sharon's "goldfish-memory" story either, because my intuition told me there was more to it than that. What bad position was Nicole really referring to?

6. Why don't the others want to help me when it comes to what Dan and the others have been saying about me? Why must they keep covering Dan's tail to keep me from knowing what his true motives and meanings are?

7. Should I take out my cameraphone and roll video on it when Dan asks me a question I don't like? (And of course repeat onto the camera what Dan asked since I wouldn't be able to start recording fast enough)

Whenever I'm in a bad mood, I'll just sit across the room from Dan so I don't have to put up with any of his antics.

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