Friday, March 28, 2025

I sent my Boomer Mom text messages about my immortality due to the Quantum Immortality Theory. If your son suddenly texted you about how he's immortal and can never die due to the Quantum Immortality Theory, how would you react to him?

 

r/AskParents icon
Go to AskParents
•

I sent my Boomer Mom text messages about my immortality due to the Quantum Immortality Theory. If your son suddenly texted you about how he's immortal and can never die due to the Quantum Immortality Theory, how would you react to him?

Not A Parent

My recent texts to Mom:

(Chat GPT link explaining the Quantum Immortality theory; links aren't allowed on this sub, so I can't post it.)

That is why I am immortal. I will never die, and can never die. If I die in this universe, I will simply wake up in a parallel universe like that life-ending event never happened.

Did you read inside that chat GPT link? How do you feel about the fact that I will never die thanks to the quantum immortality theory?

Did you finally get around to reading that Quantum immortality essay in Korean that I sent this morning? So that means I will never die, truly, and if I end up dying in this universe, then I will just wake up in a parallel universe like that event never happened.

I have already died a few times in my childhood, when you denied me an asthma inhaler when I really needed it, so I would end up being knocked out to a nap and when I woke up a few hours later, in reality, I had died of those asthma attacks in previous universes, and then only woke up from a nap in a parallel universe. Remember when you only wanted to follow the directions of the inhaler to a tee, and only let me inhale from it every 3 hours? When I needed another puff of the inhaler between those 3 hours, you would not let me get that puff until the 3 hours have passed. That's how I died from an asthma attack in Prior universes, and then woke up in a parallel universe. By the way, due to the Quantum immortality theory, you and everyone else in the world are Immortal too, and whoever dies in this universe just wakes up in a parallel universe. This literally applies to everybody.

So that is why I am now not afraid of death like I used to be, and will be less likely to be a coward in situations that are life-threatening. Because I will only wake up unharmed in a parallel universe if I die in this one.

===

She hasn't yet responded because she's too busy gardening or daytrading her stocks, or she can't comprehend what I'm teaching her.

So how would you comprehend and react to this if your son texted this to you?

 

all 28 comments
sorted by: 
best
disable inbox replies
 (?)
formatting helpcontent policy

[–]AskParents-ModTeam[M] [score hidden]  stickied commentlocked comment 

Your post has been removed by moderator discretion.

[–]Joe_Sacco 15 points  

I would not respond, at least not positively, to the implication that I actually killed my own child

[–]frogsgoribbit737 7 points  

Seriously, wtf? I'm assuming OP is a teenager? Because this is such a strange conversation to begin with

If OPs mom really denied him an inhaler that is messed up, but this whole rant is delusional. Id be extremely worried that my chiild would get himself killed

[–]Joe_Sacco 6 points  

“or she can’t comprehend what I’m teaching her” is the kind of thing you’d HAVE to be a teenager to type out loud.

[–]j_driscoll 1 point  

OP is a seriously deranged man in his 40s. I did a morbid quick skim of his post history and it's wild.

[–]AutoModerator[M] 1 point  

Thank you u/TheresJustNoMoney for posting on r/AskParents. All post titles must be in the form of a question.

Posts that do not conform to the subreddit rules are subject to removal at the discretion of a moderator.

Remember to read the rules and report rule breaking posts.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–][deleted] 1 point  

Fascinating theory, let’s see how far you take it.

We’re going to withdraw everything in your savings account and throw it in the fire place, where is surely won’t be burned and destroyed and you will therefore have no qualms about it.

[–]alleyalleyjudeParent 1 point  

You sound like you’re being super antagonistic towards your mom, and without anymore context, you come across as an ass.

My kid though? I’d responding with either a simple, “get off of reddit and clean your room,” or “honey, I’m an English major. You know I’m not smart enough for this shit.”

[–]plaid_8241 1 point  

I would laugh.. and unless your mom is over the age of 65 she is a Genx not a Boomer.. and quit smoking whatever the hell you are smoking.

[–]plaid_8241 0 points  

Yes I know when Genx is considering I am one.

[–]grmrsan 1 point  

I'd consider it funny, normally, except that the asthma bit, and your comment about "educating" her makes you sound like a bit of a jerk tbh.

[–][deleted] 0 points  

If my kid pulled some smart ass shit like this. I stop cooking and lock up the cabinet. Let's see how immortal you are without food, smartass.

[–]HovercraftOk9231 -1 points  

"If my child was an idiot, I would be abusive and torture them until they magically became smarter."

Here's your dad of the year trophy 🏆

[–][deleted] 3 points  

I'll set this next to the rest of our trophies. Thanks

[–][deleted] 3 points  

I can also take his college fund and buy a new corvette. You see, there's things I have to do as a parent, and there's things I don't have to do.

So you can do as I say and let me mold you into a productive member of society. Or you can eat PBJ and Ramen noodles until your 18th birthday, where you'll have a tent and a 5 gallon bucket in the backyard.

Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)