Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Memorable quotes from anybody in my life! (Part III)

51. ...And your lips are so... blue!
- Heidi Oesterle, after I drank a 64-oz. blueberry slushie that I bought from a convenience store before coming to a fireworks gathering for LDS church members. (An upper-middle class McMansion of an LDS Family Ward family in eastern Manhattan, KS, July 4, 2009)

52. Over a penny and under 10-grand!
- The mother of the family who hosted our fireworks gathering, after I asked her how much it cost to get all the fireworks and set up the entire (elaborate) party. (Same location & date as #51)

53. Nah, I'm not Dana, but I love the gal!
- Lora Andrews, when I couldn't remember her name because I kept thinking she was Dana Orth. I fumbled her name when I was right by the Salad Bar while at a Lunch Stop on our return trip from the Wesley Weekend Retreat. (Jason's Deli, Norman, OK, February 21, 2010)

54. The mirror can look "bolth" ways!
- Tim McWilliams, when I tried to spy on a few of our wingmates to determine whether they were spreading secrets about me. The mirror by the elevators happened to show me around the corner that I was spying from. (4th floor lobby, Marlatt Hall, Manhattan, KS, March 2004; shortly before Spring Break.)

55. Java, it's not Japanese!
- Joe Conroy, when explaining how ladies withholding their ages is a worldwide habit, not just a cultural trait limited to the Japanese people, while we were doing an arts-and-crafts task to help prepare for the Spring 2007 NE Kansas Japanese Cultural Festival. (A classroom in Eisenhower Hall, Manhattan, KS, on a Thursday or Friday in April 2007)

56. Is she... at the end of the line?
- April Maldonado (neé Goff), when while getting our lunches, I was talking about Jennifer Dossett (not on Facebook), and let April guess who she was. (Left lunch line, Chapman High School kitchen, Chapman, KS, Spring 2001)

57. You know (Egao), when you played Egyptian Rat Screw, you were so on the edge there it's like you were high on Java, so from now on, we're calling you Java!
- (paraphrased; Josh can correct me.) Joshua Williams, after playing that game in a session to bond with the dudes down our "C" wing. (4th floor Lobby, Marlatt Hall, Manhattan, KS, late August 2003)

58. (Egao)!
- Andie Spry, after I barked "No!" to Brian Johnson when he was about to pray the opening FHE prayer, because I wanted to pray mine. (President Michael D. Wangsgaard's residence, E.J. Frick Drive, Manhattan, KS, November 23, 2009)

59. Yeah, you really should put that up.
- Andie Spry's last words ever spoken to me in my life, after Charles Brunner chastised me for filming video from my cameraphone and told me to put it away. (Last LDS Family Home Evening I have ever been to in my life, Brother Bruce Prince's residence, 1/4-mile from Target, Manhattan, KS, December 14, 2009)

60. Lemme tell you about the parable of the Sun and the Wind Cloud. The cloud told the Sun, "I'm going to blow that man's jacket off of his body," but when the cloud blew it, the man only held the jacket tighter, no matter how much wind he blew. So the Sun said, "Let me just shine more intensely down on him; see if that'll make him take it off," so the Sun did, and the man took off his jacket.
- Elder Samuel Clayton with his companion Elder Mike Rees, during a home-visiting session for lapsed members of the LDS church. (My apartment, Manhattan, KS, early February 2010)

61. If my husband slapped ME awake, I'd spit on him!
- Heather Varnadore, while reviewing a particular revision to one of my story assignments: "The Second Childhood - Prologue" for her Creative Fiction Writing class. I've since changed the line she went over, to "He shook his wife awake with such a force that made her convinced she was in an earthquake." (Office 019A (or 017?), English & Counseling Services, Manhattan, KS, late Fall 2009)

62. (smiling) Is that Geography, (Egao)?
- Roy Sando, while instructing lab for Environmental Geography (GEOG221), when he walked from the rear to the front of the room when I was doing my daily rounds on Mafia Wars. (Despite my goofing off, I still managed to pull a "B" in Lab because I knew what I needed to do on my assignments a lot of the time.) (Seaton 21, Manhattan, KS, a Tuesday in November 2009, sometime between 2:30 and 4:20.)

63. cut this
- Heather Varnadore, in a written critique of a revision to my story "The Second Childhood: Prologue," regarding a passage in the story explaining how it took six minutes for the subject to die since it takes the brain six minutes to shut down after the heart stops. Turns out I couldn't deal with the death of a twin brother, so I changed it to a 19-day coma instead. (Presumably ECS 019, Manhattan, KS, October or November 2009)

64. Wickedness is never happiness.
- Elder Mike Rees, quoting a verse from a religious text. (My apartment, Manhattan, KS, February 23, 2010, between 4:15-5:15 PM)

- a Drill Sergeant that a recruiter from the Manhattan Recruiting Station got ahold of in order to get me to hear what it's like to interact with a Drill Sergeant. (On a phone call between the Armed Forces Career Center in Suite 545 at the Town Center Mall, Manhattan, KS, and the cellphone of a Drill Sergeant somewhere in a mall in North Carolina, December 18, 2009)

66. (bla, bla-bla-bla-bla) ...lithograph.
- Mr. Pete Spratlin, Art teacher, while teaching 7th Hour Art Overview (Chapman High School, Chapman, KS, Fall 2001)

67. ...and that's what you call an analogous color.
- (See #66)

68. You aren't going to KU.
- Mrs. Sue Shoemaker, guidance counselor, when I wanted to attend a KU orientation held in the library during my Algebra II class, just so I could get out of turning in unfinished homework for that class. (Chapman High School, Chapman, KS, Fall 2002)

69. She just needs some space right now.
- Larry Amer, a mutual friend of J.L.M. the Pastafarian (name withheld) (Facebook message, Manhattan, KS, August 2007)

70. What Larry told you actually means, "OH GOD! I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIM ANYMORE!"
- Sarah Gross, after consulting with her about the situation from #69 while she spent the night with Natasha, before we watched "V for Vendetta." (Living room, 3rd floor, (No Genki) Residence, Lindsborg, KS, Thanksgiving Break 2007)

71. Don't tip $1 at Yankee stadium
- aHOfoSho22 of YouTube, when filming video depicting what valet drivers do to customers' cars when they tip them too little. (Evidently the Yankee Stadium Parking Lot, Bronx, NY, uploaded September 8, 2009)

72. You can get out.
- a taxi driver, when a pedestrian who goes all around the city asking what he can get for $1, hops in a taxi in a McDonald's Dollar Menu commercial. (A travel agency, taxicab on a one-way street, tanning salon, and at a McDonald's in New York, NY, uploaded April 6, 2009)

73. (whispered) It's not gonna stay.
- Andie Spry, after she observed me attempt to fit the Quad Bible into the pew's book receptacle six ways 'till Sunday. It almost fit, but couldn't quite, so I opened it to the halfway part of the book and placed it so one half was in the receptacle, and the other was hanging outside of it. (Back pew, waiting room, LDS Winter Quarters Temple, Omaha, NE, the afternoon of November 7, 2009)

74. (Egao), stop commenting on like everything
- My little sister (Naoko No Genki), when I commented wanting to know why she always appeared with a friend in her profile photos. (Realtime Facebook Chat, Lindsborg & Manhattan, KS, December 6, 2009, about 9:15 PM)

75. Java, admit defeat!
- Tim McWilliams, while observing me get tackled by Andrew Tovar on the stairwell after being chased down the lobby and hall by one of our wingmates. (C-Wing stairwell, 4th floor, Marlatt Hall, Manhattan, KS, Spring 2004)

(More quotes in a future 4th installment)


  1. Appearing with a friend seems like a Facebook tradition.


    Um, it may be creepy to appear by yourself.