Friday, January 08, 2010

Why can't we Flutherites forgive each other? Why do you find it so hard to forgive some of the fellow users here?

This question was pushed back to editing, so I rescued the content and whisked it to my blogpage. I was able to only because I left a tab open that displayed that question & discussion.


EgaoNoGenki's avatar

Why can't we Flutherites forgive each other? Why do you find it so hard to forgive some of the fellow users here?

Asked by EgaoNoGenki (576points) | asked 11 minutes ago | 2 responses | “Great Question” (1points) | Flag as…
Here are some relevant Bible verses about forgiveness and reconciliation:
Matthew 6:14–15:
14 Yes, if you forgive others for their sins, your Father in heaven will also forgive you for your sins. 15 But if you don’t forgive others, your Father in heaven will not forgive your sins.
Ephesians 4:26:
26 And don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry…
Romans 5:10:
“For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.”
So to those of you who aren’t fond of me for being myself, or for wronging you (albeit in indirect ways), what do you find so difficult about forgiving me?
Now that you’ve seen these verses, and realize that the Lord won’t forgive you unless you forgive, what do you plan to do?
Observing members: 1 Composing members: 0


EgaoNoGenki's avatar
Here’s also something kind of related:
Romans 12:20–21
20: Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.”
21: Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.
AnonymousGirl's avatar
There’s someone to forgive on here? :/
johnpowell's avatar
I this something that I would need to believe in god to understand?
jonsblond's avatar
I like fluther because most of the users are forgiving.
‘Whatcha talkin bout Willis,’
ccrow's avatar
Have I missed something?? I’m confused….
DominicX's avatar
Well, it might not have been super quick, but I’ve pretty much resolved all the “beefs” I had with other users, which is pretty damn good. :)
fireinthepriory's avatar
Agree with @jonsblond! I never find myself thinking about little tiffs I may have had with other users. I’m far more likely to remember good interactions.
jackm's avatar
i hate everyone
Spinel's avatar
On the “all” questions pages, I don’t see wars, even though I do see the occasional debate. I see questions on life issues and every topic under the sun except personal attacks. On user’s profiles I see talk about themselves, and again no personal attacks, no lists of enemies.
Where exactly is this war zone your referring to?
Jeruba's avatar
I have no involvement with or interest in the stories behind this question, but I do wonder this: have you asked them to forgive you?
laureth's avatar
What is there to forgive? No one has sinned against me. :) We might differ in opinion, but that’s not a hangin’ offense.
FireMadeFlesh's avatar
In my experience, people on Fluther can have vigorous conversations and strong disagreements without letting it affect their friendships. There is no reason to take offence in the majority of cases.
Also, most people on Fluther don’t care what the Bible says, myself included.
avvooooooo's avatar
Posting miscellaneous Bible quotes here will get pretty much the same response as it did on Askville. When someone hasn’t changed, doesn’t intend to change, and isn’t sorry at all, they aren’t going to be “forgiven.”
phoenyx's avatar
You are going about fluther forgiveness in the wrong way. Quoting bible verses isn’t it. Try reconciliation or saying you’re sorry.
smashbox's avatar
If a person on Fluther, or anywhere else can’t forgive me, or I them, then I would do my best to avoid any conversation (comments) with them. I wouldn’t waste my time, asking for forgiveness. Fluther is temporary, and no one is forced to comment to anyone.
There are too many people on Fluther for me to have fun and conversate with, than to waste my time, trying to be forgiven, by someone who can’t forgive.
avvooooooo's avatar
On a side note, since you seem intent on the same behaviors that caused something to happen on that other side today, as evidenced by the asking of the same question on here, you’re probably going to get the same result.
Spinel's avatar
@EgaoNoGenki Check out Matthew 18:15–16
MagsRags's avatar
You seem to feel that the bible verses are some sort of weapon like Medusa’s head?
AstroChuck's avatar
Just don’t do it again.
avvooooooo's avatar
@MagsRags You hit the nail on the head. “Now that you’ve seen these verses, and realize that the Lord won’t forgive you unless you forgive, what do you plan to do?” is just like saying “Forgive me for what I did or burn in hell.”
jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar
I don’t know any of the back story on the issues between you and other users, but why do you care if other people (in your words – ) aren’t fond of you for being yourself? If you did something to offend them, then that’s one thing, but if you were simply being yourself, then who cares what others think of you?
jmah's avatar
Man, it’s been a weird last couple of days on Fluther
I agree with @FireMadeFlesh.
Buttonstc's avatar
Well since you insist on being all Biblical about this, why not do a little research on the law of sowing and reaping ? Christ expounded on it sufficiently for even a third grader to understand.
Whatsoever you sow, that shall you also reap.
It’s also expressed in other religions as the principle of Karma. You get back the same type of energy which you put out into the world.
In science it’s known as cause and effect.
Personally, I try to forgive as much as possible as I don’t like to be tied to negativity.
But there is a big difference between forgiving and forgetting. Someone may forgive you for whatever you’ve done, but may understandably be reluctant to continue interacting with you. Perhaps this is what you are experiencing.
Most of the folks I’ve gotten familiar with on Fluther aren’t the unforgiving type. Very few hold grudges. So, what is it that you are experiencing then? And what is it that you’ve done that may have been a contributing factor ?
If you would like an example of one interaction which I witnessed, drop me a PM. Since it didn’t really involve me, except as an observer, I don’t feel comfortable discussing it in a public way, but it may give you a clue…
Or maybe not. But I offer it as an observation. If you can learn something from it, fine. If not….?
I’m not holding any grudges, merely observations.
delirium's avatar
DrBill's avatar
This is a site for people to express their opinion, good, bad, or indifferent, having an opinion is not a sin, even if it is wrong.
jamielynn2328's avatar
I guess this was the wrong week to be busy and in other places besides fluther. Debate is healthy. If someone seems to be fighting with you, maybe it’s because they never agree with you. If you don’t let it bother you, I am positive that it will just go away. You are the only one keeping the negativity alive through…um.. through Jesus I guess.
PandoraBoxx's avatar
In general, forgiveness usually involves contriteness on the part of at least one party.
jbfletcherfan's avatar
There’s a fluther member here who has an issue with me that they won’t forgive. It has nothing to do with fluther. This was a personal issue on an email. I have tried to explain my side of it. I meant things in jest, but it was taken wrong. They won’t have any of it. I’ve reached out to them to no avail. We were friends for a long time, so this hurts. I don’t ever see this person forgiving me, sadly & it’s a stab in the heart when I see them here. Some people’s minds are closed to any attempt of reconciliation.
filmfann's avatar
I already told the assholes I forgive them.
skfinkel's avatar
Who did what to whom?
chyna's avatar
@skfinkel I don’t know but it seems a little grade schoolish.
ubersiren's avatar
I’ve never had a disagreement with someone who I didn’t later have kind words with. There was one case where I was really offended by a user, but it eventually resolved itself. I’ve never come across permanent resentment on fluther.
I read the verses, but I didn’t “realize” anything. The Lord had nothing to do with my forgiveness.
Jeruba's avatar
@jmah, now that you mention it, I have to agree.
I’ve noticed that questions about fluther do often seem to attract weirdness. It’s sort of like asking the eye to observe itself.
Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar
So I see the question, then I see the details – now I don’t want to forgive anyone….joking, joking…this will come off as arrogant and, perhaps, it is but I only forgive people that I truly really respect…in that I can’t even be mad at people I barely know…even if they say hateful stuff to me, it doesn’t matter, they’re not ‘on my level’ to forgive or not forgive…they deserve neither…the only people I can forgive are my best friend, husband and children…the rest I will forgive but not forget.
galileogirl's avatar
@EgaoNoGenki You’ve been on Fluther for 3 weeks and you seem to think you have an enemy, hmmm. When I looked up your activity I noticed in your 15 days you have asked 37 questions. I didn’t recognize your name, but I have’t been active the last 2 weeks. Your questions are very specific and very personal to you.
Questions about Fluther, topics that most of us have learned about through observation
Questions, that are closer to statements, about how Apsbergers has affected you.
Questions about getting into the military-possibly related to your dtagnosis.
Questions related to some ridiculous fictioal scenarios. Aha! I did answer one of your questions. I thought it was a real if immature question but quickly realized you were trying to control discussions because you had poor interpersonal skills. My reaction was to remove questions about Aspergers’, why can’t I get in the military and how does Fluther work-all bwcause I found them uninteresting. I removed your fictional entries because I thought they were silly. And I didn’r realize they were all coming from the same Jelly until today.
What I think what you characterize as lack of forgiveness is really that someone who was frustrated by your lack of communications skills, basically called you on it. Then you might have tried to change their mind, further aggravating the discussion.
Now I might be totally wrong. You may understand exactly what you are doing. Either way there are people like me who remove your questions without even opening them and others who try to help you until they realize you are not listening. Either way you are projecting your pathology on others and you are being marginalized.
Also using the bible as a source for proof for your arguments is not acceptable. T find a dictionary or the works of Shakespeare giv just as much insight into the human condition. The bible is not the literal truth to many, so why do you think citing quotations will advance your opinions?

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