Friday, July 31, 2009

COMING OUT: Epilogue on my Asperger’s Syndrome (Personal Entry)

(<600 words)

The burden is all on me to continue the (Genki) family lineage (Continued)

But in our family's branch, the burden is on me to continue the family name. With Asperger's, the prospects of marrying and having a family is dimmer, but the possibility is ever-present, as Andie Spry's father has Asperger's and is married with kids. I was once told online that the odds of someone with Autism marrying was 1-in-11, but hopefully they were only referring to regular Autism and not Asperger's.

How big my trust issues have gotten with Asperger's

The way people have manipulated me and took advantage of my awkward social skills caused me to have big trust issues. This is mostly with new people, but also a few people whom I've known for a while.

In fact, my trust issues have grown so much that I even once called a bluff on a "Road Closed" sign. I had a job interview to go to and the road leading up to the highway was barricaded off. I thought, "On this day, of ALL days? This is a CLASSIC hallmark of bad luck! I'm not buying it!" Not being able to see road construction on the horizon ensured that I wasn't going to. I went around the barricade, and the road looked alright for about two miles.

I also thought, "Maybe they finished road construction YESTERDAY or THIS MORNING and haven't bothered to remove the sign yet." Then I saw another "Road Closed" barrier and the pavement ahead of me stripped bare. They were indeed still doing construction, and gave me the "Turn Around" hand motion.

I guess that bad luck was self-made. Luckily, I happened to borrow Mom's GPS device and calculated the closest detour to the highway. I still made it to the interview, albeit just 7 minutes early, which is a close shave in that circumstance. (I was hoping for about 15.)


There is a silver lining to everything. There has to be. Some are just trickier to find than others. At least Andie Spry already knew that "all geniuses have people problems." When so many famous luminaries have or are speculated to have Asperger's, this strengthens hopes for my prospects in life. From this, I know I have lots of potential; I just have to use all of it.

My drive to be able to interact and build relationships like and with normal people remains as vigorous as ever. There remains hope that someday, I will have more connections than I have ever dreamed of, to better lots in life, just so long as I keep trying to polish my skills with people. I know I may never be a good fit in a customer support position, but look at where Bill Gates, Thomas Edison, and other luminaries landed in their lives, even with their social setbacks.

Thomas Edison didn't even go to college, but his perseverance paid off. As I have been going to college, I consider myself luckier than Edison when he was my age, so if I have Edison's potential, and am going to college now, then I have the potential to make a far bigger change in the fabric of humanity than Edison ever did.

It takes determination to be somebody, and not just a cog in the machine. Believe me, I have already tried to be various cogs in various machines, and they pretty much didn't work well. I want to be the whole machine, and if I am determined enough, I will become that.

Famous people with Asperger's:


  1. Hi!

    I'm reading the blog backwards at the moment, so that the current issues stay in the forefront. Will bookmark you shortly and critique accordingly, as to what strikes me the most.

    Edison was deaf as well as having Asperger syndrome (well, retrospectively, anyway!), but yes, he was very persistent.

    It's good to have vigour and persistence.

    Out of interest, what machine would you like to be if you could be one?

  2. What machine would I like to be? Hey, I'd like to be a machine that hasn't been invented yet!

    Specifically, I'd like to be an age-reversal device.

  3. Now that sounds really interesting.

    I have read the blogs which contain your stories and creative work on age reversal.

    It really is a Big Idea in our culture, and some cultures seem to be 'younger' than others.

    When people are a 100 years old, they seem to look about 60-80 years old, so that tells me the aging process stops, in the face and the muscles and skin at least. But does it reverse? I wonder ...

    (I especially liked the story about the 5 year old acting like a college/university student).

  4. Thank you. I don't remember posting that about the 5 year old on ENG3i, but somewhere on WrongPlanet I do.

    What's your WP username?

  5. I don't actually have a WrongPlanet username.

    I just lurk, and have been doing so since the start of the site. (Back on the 4th June 2004).

    There are other places you can look for me, though.