Saturday, February 28, 2009

What does Google think of Christian? (Personal Entry)


Find the first result with the sentence STARTING WITH the following strings:

1) Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search.
2) Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search.
3) Type in "[your name] says" in Google search.
4) Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search.
5) Type in "[your name] does" in Google search.
6) Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search.
7) Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search.
8) Type in "[your name] likes " in Google search.
9) Type in "[your name] eats " in Google search.
10) Type in "[your name] wears " in Google search.
11) Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search.
12) Type in "[your name] loves" in Google Search.
13) Type in "[your name] will be" in Google Search.
14) Type in "[your name] studies" in Google Search.
15) Type in "[your name] buys (or bought)" in Google Search.
16) Type in "[your name] watches (or watched)" in Google Search.
17) Type in "[your name] fixes (or fixed)" in Google Search.


1. Christian needs to go to summer school
1b. I had nightmares about that in 3rd grade, but I'll not mind only if I'll like summer school better.

2. Christian looks like a LLAMA
2b. Ew. That wouldn't fly too high on

3. Christian says, everyone's to love him
3b. It's almost like someone wrote this song for me. But yeah, I would feel more of the innocence of a child again if everybody loved me so.

4. Christian Wants Kidney Back from Hell-Bound Pagan
4b. I think we can clone copies of organs now. Or let's hope we do soon enough. If cloning organs for others will pay well, I'll not mind copying mine, but I think they'll only copy the best of the best.

5. Christian Does Not Mean Being Patsy
5b. There are plenty of Christians in the Marines, and organizations that are possibly tougher than them. If I were a patsy, I'd want to be a girl, but I just want to be younger. I've seen athletic 17-year-olds, like Erik Birch (when he was that age,) for example. Oh, and I've been meaning to look 17 again.

6. Christian Hates Most Movies
6b. Whatever. I guess I hate a lot of them, but most of them? C'mon.
6c. (There was a Mice Pace profile that had a sentence starting with that string, and a swear word, so I didn't use it. You can find it here though: )

7. Christian asks: Was Prophet Muhammed just Insane?
7b. A Muslim could ask if Prophet Joseph Smith was just insane. Or a Shinto could ask if Prophet Jesus Christ was just insane.

8. Christian likes bikes on Flickr
8b. I sure do! I would hope to get a bike with an electrically-assisting motor for uphill work. You know, the kind that recharges by pedaling or downhill inertia when not in use?

9. Christian eats dumplings
9b. Every once in a while, Mom makes Korean dumplings called ya-ki man-du and they're GREAT especially after getting dipped in soy sauce.

10. Christian WEARS MAKEUP!!!
10b. Even though I don't any now, I've been meaning to get some kind of cream to make me look younger, as long as it doesn't also make me look like a woman.

11. Christian was arrested for allegations that he assaulted his mother and sister in London just last week.
11b. The thought of that just makes me cringe. I'd rather give them hugs.

12. Christian loves his hair
12b. Since the above video link doesn't seem to have a video to play, let's try the next result:
12c. christian loves a good pupil on Flickr
12e. Eh, I don't consider myself teaching material, but if it's some hidden subject/talent that I will grow to unconditionally love, then I may get to love the pupil that I teach this to.

13. Christian will be appearing on the Late Late Show (CBS) with Craig Ferguson on Friday, November 7th.
13b. I would hope to know all my words ahead of time so I don't slip and stutter on national TV. By golly, that would tense me up way too much.

14. (...) Christian Studies is an academic course that is taught with the same standards—class time, homework, and testing—as other comparable subjects, such as Classical Studies and American-Modern Studies.
14b. Too much had to do with classes about Christianity in numerous schools. I couldn't find anything about some guy named Christian studying something.

15. Christian Buys Fellers Offices
15b. *yawn*

16. Christian Watches
16b. This isn't part of a sentence but I thought I'd show you religiously-themed watches anyway. However, let's try again.
16c. christian watched me eat sushi on Flickr
16e. Is this something worth Flickr'ing on about? What a boring headline!

17. Christian fixes himself a Sandwich!
17b. Why does this note have to go out with a whimper? Ideally, they should climb to a climax and end with a BANG! This YouTube video just disappoints; what was the point of making such an inconsequential video? See, it only has 61 views. Let's make an 18th one just to excite the ending, shall we?

18) Type in "[your name] explodes (or exploded)" in Google Search.

18. Christian explodes, chewing wildly.
18b. Was he eating Pop Rocks? I wonder how big those explosions would be if those Pop Rocks were the size of Jawbreakers.

No comments:

Post a Comment