Monday, December 01, 2008

If I Ever Become Obese, I have one grandiose plan. (Personal Entry)

(Foreword: This draft was originally made on Wednesday, July 23, 2008, 12:31 AM. I saved this in a private draft folder for several months, and have now decided that it's worthy to submit to the public.

Since this is such a long note, you may either stop where you are right now and read something else, or get the computer to read for you with a free edition of ReadPlease at with the direct download link at )

If my BMI ever reaches 30, I have a plan.

First off, the Japanese diet appears to have taken my pounds off. GO JAPAN! (I hope the Korean diet will be similar, given that I'll stay there for eight days.) Last time I weighed myself, I was 176 pounds. (That is ~80 kilograms for all you Metric guys and gals out there.) At 6 feet (1.829 meters), that gives me a present BMI of 23.9, just 1.1 below the Overweight threshold.

But our metabolisms fall as we grow old. I don't think I'll reach 30 BMI for the next 10 years, but whenever I do, here's what will happen:

If I can afford to fatten myself, then I can afford to buy a mountain quadricycle. It will have at least 21 speeds, two seats, and a TRUNK. Also, this quadcycle must be electric or solar-assisted, or both.

Once I obtain one, I plan to pedal cross-country (and maybe even through Canada during warmer weather,) burning calories all the way. I intend to keep doing this until my BMI goes down to 20 (or maybe I should go for 19? Ah well, once it's at 20, I'll bike home and maybe it'll reach 19 by the time I arrive.) If I maintain my current height, BMI 20 is 147.5 pounds, and BMI 19 is 140 pounds. I haven't weighed that little since my Freshman year of High School!

This trunk will have all the travel supplies a bicyclist will ever need. You can imagine what those are. The quadcycle must have a battery assistant for those treacherous hills. Even on the lowest gear, I probably couldn't pedal a quadricycle alone up a hill, and I may have to pass through the Rockies!

So that I don't involuntarily get helped by the battery, I hope for it to also have a battery toggle switch. I think all battery-assisted bicycles have that kind of switch, so it'll go without saying for these quadcycles to have one.

I'll keep a laptop and a cameraphone with me all throughout this nationwide trek, and will regularly post to a public blog (on BlogSpot, LiveJournal, or the best blog service on the Web. What IS the best blog service on the web?) I may custom-print T-shirts that briefly depict and describe my journeys and sell it wherever I stop. With my URL on these shirts, I may be sure to get (site) traffic.

(For any crazies out there or anyone who pretends to be - Don't think I'll post while I pedal; anyone ever attempt that? I'll make video and text logs at rest stops, restaurants, motels, and etc.)

I hope that my journey inspires others caught in the nationwide Obesity Epidemic to do the same. I'll also print business cards with my blog URL and email, pass it around whenever appropriate, and drive more traffic to my site that way too.

I'll probably stop at motels, a few hotels, but nothing too fancy, I suppose. If any of my fans extend an invitation for me to stay over at their homes (and I'll probably post an invitation form for this on my website), then I'll be more than happy to, since it would cost less this way.

Along the way, I may add parts & accessories to my quad, like a more powerful electric motor, better batteries, solar panels, better solar panels, lighter frame & body components, and anything to make the quadcycle and the riding experience better for myself.

My quadcycle must have at least two seats because a friend, fan, or even media reporter may want to have a talk with me while we ride around! In fact, I may add seats as I go along in my travels.

For safety's sakes, I may have to add bumpers and other safety features. Since they won't be relevant if I have to drive through a seedy part of a city (like Compton in LA and other crime-ridden neighborhoods in other cities,) I'll have to buy and carry a taser, pepper spray, other non-lethal self-defense tools, and bulletproof clothes.

I shouldn't forget to add an aftermarket odometer and speedometer to my quad in order to track my trips better.

The whole experience ought to build my character, personal development, and other vitals about me as well as lose my weight. Moreover, it might make me more well-known in America and inspire other people to go to such great lengths to lose weight when necessary.

This would also look great on my resume. Why wouldn't it?

Why haven't I heard of anyone else doing this already?

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