Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Retroactive Cruelty Log I: Treated Differently for Same Action (Personal Entry)


I think in order to relieve some unresolved steam, I must write about memorable cruelties done to me by anyone (using aliases). Many people write the same things for the same reasons too, I'm sure. This is the first installment of the "Cruelty Logs."

Setting & the "cruelty" she hath done unto me

Date: Spring 2007 (March or April?)
Location: Bluemont 111 (EDLST 350 - Cultural & Contextual Leadership)

Even though they can't read this entry, I'll play it safe and use aliases. Who knows if someone who happens to know them will forward them a copy/paste of this entry.

A visitor lectured about his time in India (Studying abroad? Business trip? I'm unsure now.) At some point, I laid my head down because I couldn't keep awake.

"Morihan Wault," the girl to the right of me (a sorority girl, about a senior now, I believe,) tapped my desk (somewhat hard) and said "You're not being respectful." I couldn't believe my ears; since when did she start being so straightforward? I asked, "What was that?" She repeated it exactly.

Spotted a classmate doing the same, & "Morihan's" reaction to him

Then about 5-10 minutes later, I noticed that a guy right behind "Morihan," "Laurent Faud-Eau'laire," had his head down too! I looked back intently at him, waiting for "Morihan" to react to him, preferrably in the same way that she reacted to me. (Because if she did, then I'd have peace-of-mind knowing that's how she is to everybody.)

As soon as she took notice of my looking back at him, I glanced at her for a half-second then continued looking back at "Laurent." Then she flicked at "Laurent's" head, said in a tone of friendly reproof, "(Laurent)!" and grinned at him as soon as he lifted his head.

Reflections and Hypotheses

There was no outward strife between each other throughout the semester, and just then I noticed something was pretty wrong. It looks like "Morihan" acted natural around me throughout the semester, but had some vile feelings toward me on the inside. What was it from? Did I say something to deeply offend? (Why not tell me how it felt right then?)

Maybe I gave off a wrong "vibe." Apparently "being myself" was a social crime to her. I don't think I'll ever know for sure now. She has since wandered off to parts unknown somewhere at K-State.

What if I asked this question, and Conclusion

I wonder how she would've responded if I went up to her right after the end of class and asked, "So why'd you treat "Laurent" differently about the same thing I did?" What do you think her response would've been? Whatever the hypotheses are, are just that.

Now that I got one thing off my chest and am now in a somewhat better mood because of it, I am ready to move on to the next Cruelty Log, at an indeterminate point in the future.

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