Tuesday, April 22, 2025

What is the (hypothetical) woman-on-man equivalent of a man blaming a woman's bad mood on their period / PMS cramps?

 

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What is the (hypothetical) woman-on-man equivalent of a man blaming a woman's bad mood on their period / PMS cramps?

πŸ›‘πŸš§ No Mans Land πŸ›‘πŸš¨ (no male input) πŸš§πŸ›‘

What would a woman have to say or do to a man to achieve the same effect?

It's so I and other men can better understand why it's a strong taboo to ever blame a woman's bad mood on their period / cramping. Thanks in advance.

 

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[–]strawbebbymilkshake 63 points  

You should able to understand why it’s an unkind thing to do without there being a male equivalency

[–]ben-hur-hur 10 points  

πŸ’―

[–]Commercial_Border190 5 points  

I would like to understand why it's wrong to say black people are genetically inferior - what's the white person equivalent?

[–]TVsFrankismyDad 3 points  

Or "He does XYZ because he's insecure about his dick size."

[–]thelryan -4 points  

In my experience, it’s women who use their period to explain why they’re having mood swings. It was a weird thing for me, because growing up my mom would explain in child appropriate terms that women had a monthly time where they were really emotional, so that’s what I thought. Then as I got older some women around me and online pushed back on that and so I followed suit and wouldn’t attribute any mood fluctuations on their period. But then becoming an older adult and working in women dominated fields, most conversation I hear from them around periods and mood swings seems to affirm that it is a true thing for them.

I’m not saying women are weaponizing it, but I feel like inserting the intent there from men (men choosing to weaponize women’s medical condition) could be misrepresenting the situation because if we’re told they do get mood swings from their period, and then we try and point out they may be on or near their period if they are having a mood swing like they’ve communicated to us, is that weaponizing their medical condition or is that genuinely making a suggestion out of concern with the information they’ve given us?

[–][deleted] 3 points  

You're giving way too much credit to what is more than likely not a question asked in good faith.

There would be no need for a male equivalent if anyone were asking for sincere advice in this conversation. It is to be used as a weapon in an argument.

[–]thelryan -5 points  

OP is asking so he can understand why it's taboo to ever blame a woman's mood on her period. But women blame their mood on their period, so something isn't congruent here. You're saying it's only used as a weapon in an argument, are women using it as a weapon as well? I don't think so, personally.

[–][deleted] 4 points  

You're saying it's only used as a weapon in an argument, are women using it as a weapon as well? I don't think so, personally.

I didn't say this is only used as a weapon in an argument as a broad, blanket statement. I said that the OP's standpoint comes across as disingenuous at best, and that they are seeking to weaponize this.

Similarly to how you seem to engage in many threads where social issues that are unique to, or primarily effect, women and do this same "whataboutism" thing that you're doing now.

Please check the flair on the post!

[–]thelryan -4 points  

Right, and I don't see how they are seeking to weaponize it by trying to understand an analogy for it that may apply to a man's perspective.

idk what you mean by doing whatboutism in other threads but that flair doesn't apply to me

[–][deleted] 5 points  

If you're female, I'd encourage you to add your own individual input!

[–]thelryan 1 point  

I did lol

[–]Commercial_Border190 3 points  

Because there's a million reasons why a person's mood changes so why jump to the assumption that it's from her period?

[–]thelryan 0 points  

I feel like you didn't read what I said. Most women I've surrounded myself seem to agree that their period is the cause of their mood changes. I agree with you that there could be other reasons but if they're saying it is the cause of their mood change, that's not making a baseless assumption, that's making a suggestion using the information they've given us.

[–]Commercial_Border190 3 points  

They said they experience mood changes during their period. Not that every mood change is due to their period

[–]thelryan 1 point  

Right, so if they’re experiencing mood changes and it happens to be around their period, are men weaponizing women’s medical conditions by asking if they think it’s because of their period?

[–]Commercial_Border190 3 points  

Yeah. Why assume when you could just ask what's wrong? Plus most men aren't even aware of when a women is about to get her period

[–]thelryan 1 point  

If you’re asking her if she thinks her mood is being affected by her period, that is asking her what’s wrong, that isn’t assuming it’s true. Yeah I mean I assume most men aren’t close enough to most of the women in their lives to make that kinda comment, this would be a situational thing for men who are close to the woman who made him aware that her period does affect her mood and they know the general time it could be expectdd

[–]Commercial_Border190 1 point  

Why say "are you moody from your period" instead of "you seem upset. What's wrong"

[–]thelryan 0 points  

Because if you know that causes their mood to be off, you could ask a pointed question instead of an open ended question. Or you could just ask what’s wrong, either question would work in the scenario I’m describing.

[–]eefr 3 points  

There's a huge difference between someone saying, "I am having mood swings right now; I believe it is due to my period" — which is an assessment they are making about their own body and mind, based on information only they have (where they are in their cycle; how they tend to react during their cycle; whether this feels the same as prior instances of menstrual-related mood swings; whether there is another reasonable explanation that more plausibly accounts for their mood) — vs. someone else, someone who is not privy to her internal subjective experience, saying:

"You are upset. It cannot possibly be that you have a valid reason to be upset; it must be because of your period."

The latter dismisses her emotions and experience, and it does so without a firm basis, because that person lacks the personal, internal information that a woman has about her own mind and body, which is the basis on which she could assess whether her mood is due to menstruation or something else.

You can attribute your own mood to menstruation; you have the information you need to do that. But attributing someone else's mood to menstruation is irrational, because you don't have enough information, and dismissive, because you're suggesting that the feelings and concerns they are expressing stem from an irrational mood swing rather than a valid reason to feel upset.

[–]thelryan 1 point  

Yeah, this isn’t something somebody that doesn’t have a closer connection to that woman would say, you would probably have to know from them telling you that they do tend to have mood swings during their period and have a general idea of when in their cycle that happens, you would be using information they gave you to inform your question.

I don’t know why anyone would say what you quoted, that’s a pretty silly way to implement information about mood swings from periods into your communication skills with a partner or loved one. Suggesting mood swings could be affected by their period wouldn’t ever mean that the only reason they are having mood swings is their period. We are always having multiple factors impacting our mood, your period would just be one. I hope it’s clear I’m not suggesting that it’s valid to put all the cause of somebody’s mood onto their period, I’m questioning if suggesting that their period is a factor in their mood is actually weaponizing their medical condition, which is the comment I originally replied to.

[–]eefr 2 points  

My view is that unless you are inside someone's body, you have no business attributing their demeanour to their period. It's rude, presumptuous, and dismissive.

[–]thelryan 1 point  

I think that’s a good position to keep. At the least, it’s something that only very few close people to the woman probably would have the access and closeness to make a good faith suggestion about her period affecting her, it’s something that needs to be done with tact if at all.

[–][deleted] 4 points  

I have ADD and this annoys the fuck out of me. I try to avoid discussions around ADD because of this, too many people (particularly men) use this as an explanation for being...just awful. Incompetent. Even abusive.

[–]SparkleSelkie 6 points  

Same. Like I recognize that in some scenarios I am indeed awful as well, we all are, but I’m not out here trying to blame the ADHD

[–]Sodium_Junkie624 2 points  

Ahh weaponizing mental health and neurodivergence

Yk there's a lot to say about White boys being overdiagnosed while women and POC were largely missed

[–]sixninefortytwokiwi πŸ₯ 2 points  

see also, autism

[–]LeaJadis 12 points  

“boys will be boys”

[–]Sodium_Junkie624 3 points  

Disagree

That's used to excuse boys while period is used to dismiss women's feelings and thoughts

[–]MotherSithis 4 points  

"Can understand?"

You don't need to understand. Just don't say it cause it's not true.

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[–]Sodium_Junkie624 1 point  

Blame anger on testosterone?

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