BIG YES BOMB!!!!!

Equal_Imagination300 · 2025-03-16T21:08:33+00:00

My Kid that I parad last year was one of the most popular kids in 8th grade. He was a legend. Kids still ask about him this year. Advice- be yourself! Don't try to be someone you're not!

SandyHillstone · 2025-03-16T21:42:16+00:00

I was a special education para-professional and in my last year was with one student. Before our center was relocated I usually worked with 2 or 3 per class. So this student didn't "need" a one on one. My agreement was that if the student's behavior, and on task focus on academics equaled that of the general classroom, he wouldn't know that I was there. I usually spent my time helping out our English language learners. I never sat next to my students. This was a middle school and my student was in 8th grade. He was very popular and had a girlfriend. The other students thought that I was a para-professional for ESL, our school had a New Comer program for refugees and had several ESL para-professionals.

fidgetypenguin123 · 2025-03-16T22:27:03+00:00

I think it can depend on the why of their popularity.

Some kids are popular because they get in trouble a lot, push the envelope, are class clowns, etc. for instance. A kid that might need a 1 on 1 may very well have those traits if it's especially behavior based (but of course behavior can often be a result of an underlying condition which may have caused the need for an IEP to begin with.) A lot of kids with behavior concerns can be popular but to the type of kids that like that/go along with it. I also think that if a kid is popular because of bad behavior that popularity probably dissipates more in HS when more kids are growing, focusing on academics, dating, jobs, etc.

Sometimes kids with 1 on 1s that aren't specifically behavior concerns may be "popular" because of, for lack of a better word, "pity", or feeling bad for those kids. For instance, if a child is differently abled, such as with Down Syndrome or the need of a wheelchair. I've definitely seen it where kids rally around those kids and make them feel special so in those ways they are popular, at least in the school setting where everyone knows them and is nice to them (well except the bullies.)

I myself am a 1 on 1 to a student that could fit into this category: a K student with severe cognitive needs, some medical issues, and autism. In some ways this student is popular. Many of the kids say hi to them, try to play with them, hug them, etc. But this student does not/can not do that back to them. If anything, this student has caused problems in the class. Has hit some kids, hit the teacher, grabbed other's things, randomly screams, and I've even heard some students say "So-and-so ruins everything" about the student. The older these kids get and if this student stays in their GenEd class at all, the more these kids will see it differently and this student will become less popular. For a student with more medical needs and less behavior needs though, they may remain popular like how I mentioned earlier. Basically if that student is not affecting them negatively.

Obviously being popular because of bad behavior is not ideal, and anything with "pity" is less of a deeper/genuine type of popularity. Anything outside of those categories such as popular for other traditional reasons and there's less likely a need for a 1 on 1 to begin with. On top of that, with funding and staff shortages, it seems to take a lot to assign a student a need for a 1 on 1. The situation typically has to be extreme/very high needs now.

And in addition to that, most kids, especially by HS, become more aware of being different. Most don't want an adult following them around especially in front of their friends. My own kid in HS with an IEP hates that he needs an IEP at all and just always says he wants to do what everyone else is doing. He's also sort of popular. There was someone in an IEP meeting that suggested maybe a 1 on 1 for him but it was shot down by the others because he doesn't have needs high enough to qualify for it but I also know he'd hate that since again, he just wants to fit in. I don't think he needs one anyway, just saying that most kids that can be aware enough wouldn't want to seem different in that way especially as they get older.

So yes that can happen, but it's the why that matters, and it takes an extreme situation anyway anymore to even qualify for a 1 on 1 and that extreme situation will make the difference on what any popularity is based on.

Status_Video8378 · 2025-03-16T23:26:49+00:00

Does your para need to sit right beside you all the time. My grade 5/6 fasd student has become one of the cool kids. I stay as far back as I can, and help other kids as much as I can. The kids know we are attached, but if they ask, I just say he learns different, like everybody. What is your disability?

justheretoread85 · 2025-03-16T23:37:36+00:00

There’s this autistic boy who I 1:1 paraed in a class a few years ago who people call the mayor because literally everyone loves him

Idatrvlr · 2025-03-16T23:42:31+00:00

I have had a downs kid who was prom king, super popular, so yes, it's possible.i also have kids who I don't follow who ask for help when they see it's ok.

ryryryor · 2025-03-17T00:01:03+00:00

The kid I work with is pretty well liked. I don't know if I'd describe him as "popular" but he has a good amount of friends in class.

Although it may help that he doesn't have a one-on-one at recess. I'm out there still but as a general duty and he's never had issues at recess so I try to give him some space.

freakingsuperheroes · 2025-03-17T02:20:58+00:00

My student is 6th grade, super funny and social. He’s really well-liked and has many friends. He’s even had girlfriends, from what his mom told me, and he’s had a 1-1 since pre-K (I only started with him this year).

Tbh I don’t think most of the kids even realize why I’m there half the time, even though I’m usually right next to him, and usually they come to me for academic help just like they do the teacher.

TheresJustNoMoney · 2025-03-17T02:54:36+00:00

[removed]

Until_Morning · 2025-03-17T05:57:12+00:00

Yes, actually! My 8th grade kid is very popular and well-known. The classroom clown and super annoying to his classmates, and they laugh at him and make fun of him, but at the same time he's so familiar to them that he's very close with all of them and always hanging out and getting into things. You wouldn't know he has any issues if not for his in-class behavior or academics. He's a great athlete, he's trendy, he has a student following, and he's very charismatic. He tap-dances on my last nerves from time to time, especially when he doesn't get his way and completely shuts down, but overall he's a cool dude. I have a younger brother in the same grade, so he kind of reminds me of him. He's so popular that he even made having a para cool, and all the other kids wished they also had an aide 😂

That being said, he knows to tread lightly with me. Boundaries and professionalism hold our relationship together.

solomons-mom · 2025-03-17T15:15:41+00:00

You asked this a few days ago. https://www.reddit.com/r/specialed/s/TWlnrQNLdW

In that post, OP how long ago he had been in MS. Many commets followed Op's answer. Here is the comment and a few that followed.

[OPP] This will age me for sure, but 1997-1998.

I have other mental health diagnoses now, but my therapist believes I'm still on the spectrum.

i was in 7th grade at the same time as you and the fact that you're even still thinking about this at all is WILD. why does it matter now?
If you're still perseverating on this, I would say the therapist is probably right.
I'm on the spectrum and had to go through the same things. Trying to be "popular" with a social communication disorder is exhausting. Once I gave up trying to be popular and focused on what makes me happy, and focused on finding people who accept me for me instead of changing myself to be accepted by them, I became much, much happier.

GenuineTomfoolery · 2025-03-17T21:57:27+00:00

I am a 1-on-1 para for a 6th grader, and she is very well-liked by her classmates and teachers. They laugh at her jokes and play with her when they go outside. They even ask about her when she's not at school. She has a very specific taste in snacks, and many kids went out of their way to find something she likes at the store to give to her at their Valentine's Day party.

She is not at all trying to fit in. She is full of personality, silly, energetic, and quirky, and that's exactly why all of her classmates like her so much :)

SeasickAardvark · 2025-03-18T00:47:29+00:00

Our middle school kids that have a 1:1 are because of behavioral issues that cannot be trusted alone. They are not popular but infamous. And exhausting.

wolfelena724 · 2025-03-18T01:45:58+00:00

Depends on how you define popular. One of the third graders who I work with is universally beloved by his peers and staff alike. Everyone is kind to him, and they don't hesitate to include him in things or pick him to be their partner or in their group. So, he seems pretty popular. He has full day para support.

novafuquay · 2025-03-18T14:05:41+00:00

I was a shared para for 3 students in an upper elementary classroom to provide extra support in classroom and make sure they made it to their services. Two of them were very popular. They were ADHD boys with learning disabilities and behavior issues but were socially similar to their peers. The other was autistic and needed more support to interact appropriately with peers but classmates enjoyed including him in their groups and activities and were protective of him when others made out of the way comments.

It may have helped that I was considered the “cool” para (I assure you I’m anything but) probably because Im a big kid that shares some of their interests as the fifth graders (Video games, anime and such) and I believe in more relationship based than compliance based support but most the kids, not just my assigned wanted to engage with me.

Similar experience when I worked in a kindergarten and a first grade classroom. The kids kind of just saw me as an extra teacher even though I was mainly supporting one student, and they wanted to engage with me. This made it easier for me to facilitate positive social interactions between my student and his classmates.

MoveLeather3054 · 2025-03-18T22:17:18+00:00

I have a kid who is very well liked among their peers BUT I have noticed, kid aren’t as willing to approach him when his para is right next to him all of the time.

mothmanspaghetti · 2025-03-16T23:47:55+00:00

I accompany many different kids with a variety of cognitive and physical disabilities to multiple different gen ed classes - none of them are disliked, many are popular. My school has a really positive attitude towards the Special Education department and my kids who need more support have so many of their peers say hello and give fist bumps/high fives/hugs. My kids who require less support (usually just help with reading and writing) are very popular and have many friends in their classes - their friends are very cool with me being around, sometimes even roping me into conversation or jokes or asking me for help on their work as well.

My advice would be this: often times, we are bombarded with bad news. So much of the world seems like a bad place because bad news is Loud. If you actually look at the people around you, 99% of people are good and want to be helpful, kind, and friendly. Especially kids, kids are awesome. The world is a good place full of lovely people who want to know you.

Mo2sj · 2025-03-18T05:55:00+00:00

In my district there are no one on one paras, the student would be outplaced.

Danntheman-notaman · 2025-03-19T13:09:17+00:00

I was a student with a para with me at all time up until 8th grade. I had to escape the public school system to escape my para. It was impossible to be cool. I’m now an adult and a para in elementary setting and I feel like it’s definitely possible. As a para I connect with all the kids in the room not just the one I’m assigned to if it’s safe to do so. My relationship with the gen Ed kids is imperative, in helping my students make connections. I’m young female so the kids really gravitate towards me expecting me to be cool chill and fun and I take advantage of this to be able to help make those connections for my students. If the student it cognitively high enough and just needs occasional behavioral support or academic it’s essential the para is doing there job and trying to fade the support. Only being present when absolutely necessary for the success and dignity of the student.

BIG YES BOMB!!!!!

Sunday, March 16, 2025

Is it, or has it ever been possible, for a kid that a para is assigned to, to be "popular" while having a 1-on-1 para follow them to every class all the time? Have you EVER known (of) a popular para'd student?

Is it, or has it ever been possible, for a kid that a para is assigned to, to be "popular" while having a 1-on-1 para follow them to every class all the time? Have you EVER known (of) a popular para'd student?

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