Monday, October 31, 2016

Son of W.A.Y. parody: Those (Shoes) Are Not Safe For This Workplace

  • Those (Shoes) Are Not Safe For This Workplace
    • Parody of "Cheerio" by Sharon, Lois & Bram
    • I was inspired to write this parody when temp'ing for Collins Bus through Manpower back in 2016. My feet didn't feel the best from wearing closed-toed shoes, with socks, in the midsummer July heat in south-central Kansas, in a bus body factory whose management didn't bother to air-condition. That's why one day, I wore Crocs to work in order to comfort my feet. My Crocs were closed-toed shoes, as rules said we had to wear, but were slip-ons with some "breathing holes" designed onto the tops in order to keep my feet from sweating profusely and smelling at the end of the day. In case Crocs weren't allowed and someone noticed, I kept a pair of closed-toed sneakers in the car.
      Maybe an hour into the shift, as I was minding my own business, Lonnie, a blonde female safety coordinator in her 50s or 60s (who also smoked) looked down right at my feet as she was walking towards my supervisor's station. After all this time, I was hoping no one would bother to look down and notice, but apparently as a safety coordinator, it was her job to. She explained how Crocs were unsafe, then asked if I had any other pair available someplace, then told me to get back in the car to put the closed-toed sneakers on.
      As of yet, I cannot find an instrumental-only version of "Cheerio." I need to take up guitar or piano lessons in order to play the instrumental myself. Preferably, I ought to take up lessons in a portable instrument, as I expect to be itinerant more often in my future. Unless I find myself as adept to a mini-piano-keyboard as I would be with a full-sized one, I would have to consider a guitalele (the Kace Chandler instrument), or an electric one if I could ever find such a thing.
      After I pen the lyrics and put together a music video for "Those (Shoes) Are Not Safe For This Workplace," I intend to license this song to OSHA and other relevant work safety organizations. (Shoes) are in parenthesis because it's a default word for other footwear that's also unsafe, like flip-flops, sandals and etc.
    • Foot Protection, standard # 1910.136 - OSHA
  • Music video ideas
    • A safety coordinator giving a safety orientation to new hires should sing this while pointing to a slideshow presentation of shoes that aren't allowed to be worn.
  • Lyric ideas

    • Some types of shoes are not safe for this workplace,
    • Some shoes are liable to get you hurt.
    • Some shoes will just not be able to protect you,
    • They're not worth the danger, with which you'd flirt.
    • Depending on where you work, well, what should you wear?
    • Probably closed-toed shoes while you work there.
    • Safety Coordinator says "Here's what you need,"
    • "This chart of allowed footwear; you must heed."
    • "To don risky shoes to work, don't you dare!"
    • Now, here's a chart of footwear that are NOT allowed:
    • Here's a casual pair of sandals - DON'T WEAR
    • Here's a new pair of flip-flops - DON'T WEAR
    • Goes without saying - high-heels - DON'T WEAR
    • Shoes for the stage, like Blue Suedes – DON'T WEAR
    • Slippers worn by housemaids - DON'T WEAR
    • Loafers like in the office - DON'T WEAR
    • Heelies that roll with wheelies - DON'T WEAR
    • Thigh-high boots - come now, really? - DON'T WEAR
    • Are those moccasins we see now? - DON'T WEAR
    • Those Crocs are just way too soft - DON'T WEAR
    • Leather? Too fancy & unsafe - DON'T WEAR
    • Clogs are for The Netherlands - DON'T WEAR
    • Some places - if not steel-toed - DON'T WEAR
    • Wear the right footwear to work
    • Wear the right footwear to work
    • We will notice,
    • What you're wearing.
    • Wear the proper shoes to work
    • Wear the proper shoes to work
    • How do we know?

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