Tuesday, December 22, 2009

How could this apology letter have been worded better? (Public edition) (Personal Entry)

Foreword: It has been exactly one month since I sent this apology letter. In this Public edition, the names and places have been changed. If you're from the Ward however, you might know who I'm talking about from the context.

Foreword 2: I first ran this letter by Elder (Claymore) to see what he thought. He found nothing wrong with it. (He just wanted to know the "back-story.") Next time I need to send an apology letter, I'll preview it to and get thoughts from both genders.

Just on the morning of 11-22, I gave this apology letter to (Miss Eggshells). I didn't get the response I was hoping for. If anything, it appeared to make her feel worse about me, becausethis apology letter caused her to tell me to leave her alone.

Now when you examine this letter, please critique which parts should be changed (and maybe why), and suggest how it should have been worded better.

November 22, 2009

Dear (Miss Eggshells),

It seemed apparent that you were still not over my being the villainized Jayhawk at the Thriller party last month. For that I extend my apologies for roleplaying what turned out to be too much of a villain to you that night. I still intend to be the amicable K-Stater whom we fellow Wildcats love.

I understand that you and (Pat) are getting married and then moving to (Lago Salado) (or the other way around) sometime after he returns from his Service Mission this February. I therefore hope to part with each other on a good note by then, so I wish to have only a positive, strife-free relationship as siblings in Christ in the meantime.

In Jesus’ Name,

- (signature)

There is nothing positive about wanting to be left alone. I suppose then, I'll communicate with her through a 3rd party when I need to, until this issue gets resolved.

Moreover, I'll have a LONG talk with her fiance (Pat) about the situation between us when he gets back, unless we're back on good terms before then. I trust that (Pat) will be able to rebuild the bridge between us.

Finally, if we're still not on good terms by the time she moves to (Lago Salado)I may compile all my literature about her into a book. (I'll give her, everyone and every place an alias. However, she'll know that it's her right away just from the context, if she ever happens upon that book. The aliasing and the fact that I'll never call her out should hopefully prevent a possible libel lawsuit from ever holding water.) If there is no positive closure to our relationship, then this book may be that closure, and the royalties the "indirect restitution."

Again, I look forward to your critiques on the quoted letter. May God provide the best wisdom in these times!

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