What can you share about a time when your child was absolutely
devastated about something that you wouldn't even bat an eye at, to the
point that they thought that event was on the par of the world ending?
Perhaps they were so attached to a security blanket or stuffed animal, no matter how old and tattered it got, that when you threw it away and got them a replacement that was brand new, they were absolutely livid that the old one was gone, that they ripped up and threw the new one away because they only wanted the old one back, even though it was already picked up by the garbage truck?
How did you resolve that kind of situation?
My Parenthood is years in the future so it is essential to know right now, instead of trying to figure this out the hard way, which is when it happens and I don't know what to do.
With old toys that get ripped up, there’s ways to restore them so you can stitch it back together and add some more stuffing. I would just say they’re going from surgery to get better.
One time my kid stepped on a bug and we held a funeral for it because he was really sad he “murdered” it.
Aside from that, you just gotta embrace the way they’re processing. Most of the time it’s funny and cute. Other times it’s overwhelming when they’re having a full on melt down. If it happens in public… lord. But sometimes just a hug or giving them their space until they can calm down to talk it out helps.
Depending on age they aren’t the best communicators so it’s our job as parents to teach them how to say what makes them so upset.
I still have my favorite stuffed tiger that I got the Christmas after my dad died when I was four years old. I have sewed that thing up more times than I can remember and it’s eyes are long gone. Anything special can be repaired, there is no need to discard something that holds so much meaning to a child. If things get lost, we take the time to explain to our children that we loved it while it was with us, but it needed to move on to a new home and a new adventure.
Also, try to buy doubles of special stuffed animals. My sons “Bubble Kitty” was replaced multiple times because it was a fairly popular line of stuffed animals you could get at any grocery or drug store here where we live.
I feel like you're talking about 2 different things. There are tantrums over "insignificant" things, that are your kid having big feelings and lack of control over their world. --One of my kids was absolutely wrecked one day when we arrived at the library to discover that it was closed for an obscure holiday. Neither of us had any control over that. They needed me to demonstrate that I was also disappointed, but it was going to be ok, and they needed me to be present with them while they processed their big feelings.
The other question is about handling things when you fuck up as a parent. First, Don't throw away the special blanket or toy. Not ever.
My grandmother threw away my blanket after the cat pooped on it. I was 4, and remember vividly how heart broken I was. That was the blanket that I used to snuggle with my mother when she was going through chemo. It was PRECIOUS. You don't know what memories your kid has attached to their comfort object, and they are likely not going to be able to articulate it to you to make the case for keeping it.
Instead, store the object carefully, in an accessible place if possible. If it's in pieces, try incorporating a piece into a new comfort object, then store the remainder-- For example, my child's quilt was in rags. I sewed a piece to the corner of a new blanket, and stored the rest. They were 4, and we had a talk about how their blanket was losing pieces all around the house, and pretty soon there wouldn't be any more blanket at all. We chose a piece to keep near them, and put the rest in a special box in their closet. They could still touch it, etc, but were not allowed to drag it around anymore.
If you do accidentally throw away something important, say you're sorry. Mean it. Don't you dare be an asshat about their very real grief. And learn from your mistake.
I stepped on his milk the other day. Oh boy. World ended right there.
Edit: Forgot to explain how I resolved it. I didn’t.
