Thursday, January 28, 2010

우정의 전체 매국노

  1. 에릭 밀러 3.2005
  2. 첼시 헤읻만 12.2006 (우리는 상호 이해에 도달했습니다.)
  3. 제시 린더는 맥스팓덴 9.2007
  4. 스캇 맥스팓엔 10.2007
  5. 리랜드 스피어스 8.2009
  6. 마샬 올리펀트 10.2009
  7. 린지 로서 11.2009
  8. 더그 해리슨 11.24.2009
  9. 안디에 스프라이 1.2010


비율 : 1 매국노 / 70 친구.

이런 부담을 제거하는 데 필요한 내 가슴에서.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Going on Missions - comparisons between two churches

Foreword: Cami, this is the second part of the other note I just tagged you in. At this time, the note also is visible only to you (and now Lisa.)

Addendum: Lisa, you decided that you wanted to read this as well.


To go on missions

I originally came to the LDS church because I was thrilled with the prospect of going on a mission someday. For a long time, I had assumed that the church paid for all the mission expenses during the whole two years.

I also learned that the upper age limit was 27, so I didn't have much time to prepare.

Eventually, when I learned that we had to save up and pay our own way, I became disillusioned from this prospect. This way, it would be the same as if I moved to Korea for any other reason and became an unofficial 3rd missionary who tagged along with a pair. I still stayed with the LDS for a while longer because of its other appealing factors and the prospect of being a 3rd missionary in Korea like I mentioned above.

Then I learned a little about how missions are done through UCC

From what I've observed, whole families can go on missions through UCC, and their members appear to have somewhat more leeway in where they choose to go. (On the other hand, within the LDS, only college-aged, able-bodied members and retirees can go on missions, and someone else chooses where their assignments will be.)

As far as I know, there appears to be no age limit to go on a mission through UCC. Even minors can go on one, just so long as they go with their families, to where their families serve.

I think I won't mind the format of how missions are done through my new church. Their restrictions, etc. are evidently a bit more relaxed than LDS missions are. (I couldn't stand staying off the Internet for two full years anyway.)

Therefore, next time I'm at UCC, I should find and speak to a mission coordinator there and ask them if they send their members to Korea. Even if I can't raise the money myself, the UCC has a missionary fund to help their way through, and most of all, there is no age deadline!

This is the page on UCC's Missions Ministry.

Fellow members, you haven't seen me at Institute lately. This is why:

Cami, you said you like long stories, so here it is for you. I have set the privacy settings so that only you can read it. Also read part 2; the next note I also tagged you in. Now, and this is a very important question: Should the rest of our LDS friends read this as well?

Addendum: Lisa, you decided that you wanted to read this as well.


Over the holidays, my family ordered me to find a new church. Mom believes that the LDS is the wrong kind of denomination. My youngest sister agreed and also encouraged me to look for a new church.

Normally, if the social climate had been more ideal, I would have disobeyed them and kept going to the Institute and its FHEs.

However, as the social climate there hasn't been that rosy lately, I thought their order couldn't have been better-timed.

If it hadn't have been for that order, I would've kept going and tried any way I could find to mend the rifts with certain members there. (I'm a trial-and-error kind of guy; if one method doesn't work, I usually keep trying new and untried ones until every possible option runs out.)

But now that my family has told me to start attending a new church, I guess that won't happen now; apparently I'll "leave it be" with the LDS members this time.

If anyone wonders where I'll be, my new church is University Christian Church, just about 5 minutes down the street from the Family Ward. (And 3 minutes down the street from the Institute.) This wonderful gentlemen Kit Carson here reintroduced me to this church, which accommodates night owls like myself by holding contemporary 5 PM services on Saturday evenings. (Their other contemporary times are 9:45 and 11:15 the next day.)

President Wangsgaard left me messages; was unsure how to respond.

He called me at 11:53 AM on the 9th, and 2:01 PM the next day. I wasn't yet sure how I was going to break this news to him so I pressed the "Pass up Call" button (otherwise known as the red "End Call" in other contexts.)

His voicemail on the 9th was: "Christian, good morning. This is Brother Wangsgaard calling. I wanted to call first to remind you of the satellite broadcast from Salt Lake City tomorrow at 7:00 at the Marlatt building for all young single adults. I look forward to seeing you there. I would also like a chance to visit together and see how things are going for you and how I can be of help to you, so if you could call me back please at 785-3##-3### and arrange a time to visit. Thanks so much. Have a good day."

And this was his message on the 10th: "Christian, this is Brother Wangsgaard calling. I wanted to remind you of the Fireside broadcast this evening at 7:00 at the Marlatt building. Elder Neely Anderson, one of our newest apostles, will be speaking. I wanted to also visit if we could for a little bit. Could you please give me a call at 785-3##-3###? Thanks."

I wasn't trying to be rude; I just didn't know how to convey this to him (in way that I wanted and/or sounded best.) I wasn't sure what he was going to talk about either, but it may have involved being at Institute again.

I'm still willing to come back if only the following happens:

(At first, I thought of naming just their first names, but decided that there are other ways to hint at who they are on this public note.)

I'm only willing to disregard my family's orders and come back to Institute if:

  1. The member from Wichita who admitted to having anger issues, and has a significant other on a Service Mission until February, decides to forgive and reconcile with me.

  2. The former Army enlistee from Missouri who works at Copy Co. and drives a red GMC truck adds me back to their friends list here on Facebook.
#1 once mentioned that I did "things to scare them," though I wouldn't know what. I'm sure the scariness of whatever those actions were not intentional, and had I known in advance that they would be scary, I wouldn't have done them in the first place. I can also bet that the same actions that "scared" this member wouldn't faze the other members, so this is one more reason why I've felt like I must walk on eggshells for them. They didn't clarify what those actions were. I did attempt to apologize for the actions which I didn't know about, but they were too hardened and callous to accept the apology. (It didn't make them feel better in any way. After all, they did admit to having anger issues.) (On a side-note, because of a pre-existing social condition that I admitted to in 12 parts this last July (find it yourself), some of the ways I interact with others may be unconventional; let's put it that way. Regarding anything that alienates anyone, they're unintentional over 95% of the time. #1 knew I had this condition for a long time, but wouldn't consider that a mitigating factor here.) When I asked for #2 to help me mend the rift with #1, instead of being a sibling in Christ who helps each other pull out of emotional hardships, they decided to hurt me even more by betraying me in the way that I described. I thought siblings in Christ generally look out for one another and help each other with issues especially from within the church. In retrospect though, I had a gut-feeling that I should've enlisted Charles's help instead. It was a toss-up for a little bit, but I chose #2 because I've been friends with them longer. However, Charles is a returned missionary, so he would've been the more ideal choice after all. By the way, wouldn't a true Mormon forgive and reconcile with one another; observe ALL of the following verses in this link? If they don't, this is not the kind of church I thought it was.

Happiness at churches

The only way I'll be happy at Institute again is if those relations get mended. There's no way I can be without that happening. However, I expect those two requests to be tall orders, so this last plea is pretty likely to go unfulfilled, therefore I see myself continuing going to my new church.

The Missionaries and the rest of my LDS friends

Fortunately, my family didn't tell me not to associate with any Mormons any longer, so I can meet my LDS friends anywhere other than the Institute and Family Ward properties themselves. Meeting at bistros, ice rinks, and other places are fine. Also, they can come visit my apartment if they wish. Even the missionaries can if they want, but no one should ask me to re-attend Institute until those two requests get fulfilled. I'm still willing to be friends with Mormons because they're people like everyone else, and are often quite pleasant to be around. I've also learned to embrace diversity at K-State, so even if religious beliefs aren't compatible (any longer), we can still associate with one another for other reasons.

To go on missions


(As the note is getting long enough as it is, I have decided to place this section on the next note.)

Sunday, January 17, 2010

What are your plans when Dechronification comes along?

Full essay (Death Is An Outrage): http://www.longevitymeme.org/articles/viewarticle. cfm?page=1&article_id=9

More succinct: http://www.spiritus-temporis.com/dechronification/ benefits.html

MY PLANS:

When Dechronification (likely to be referred to colloquially as "Age-Reversion Therapy") comes along for a reasonable price, I will revert down to 15. That is of course, if an age-reversion device cannot edit my height (6'0" with shoes on.)

Then I suppose once A.R.T. becomes advanced enough to also change our heights, I will revert down to perhaps 7 1/2.

I expect this clinically immortalizing medical advance to arrive by my retirement years (still in college at present) so retirement will be the best time to be a kid again. (If A.R.T. arrives while I'm still working, I suppose I'll revert to 20 so that co-workers and etc. will still take me seriously.)

There comes the legal red tape of needing to submit birth certificates to enroll in real schools, so that probably won't be an option for a dechron (age-revertee), but holodecks and other forms of immersive virtual reality will allow for digital schools that feel every bit like the real deal, and the multiplayer environment will have you other age-revertees for your classmates.

(Remember though, as goes without saying, only your body reverts. Your mind keeps the accumulations of all your life experiences.)

Now, what are YOUR plans for when Age-Reversion Therapy comes along? How old do you plan to revert to, and why? What plans do you have for once you've reverted?



(Original post: http://www.kurzweilai.net/mindx/show_thread.php?rootID=173433#id173433)

Fellow members, you haven't seen me at Institute lately. This is why:

Over the holidays, my family ordered me to find a new church. Mom believes that the LDS is the wrong kind of denomination. My youngest sister agreed and also encouraged me to look for a new church.

Normally, if the social climate had been more ideal, I would have disobeyed them and kept going to the Institute and its FHEs.

However, as the social climate there hasn't been that rosy lately, I thought their order couldn't have been better-timed.

If it hadn't have been for that order, I would've kept going and tried any way I could find to mend the rifts with certain members there. (I'm a trial-and-error kind of guy; if one method doesn't work, I usually keep trying new and untried ones until every possible option runs out.)

But now that my family has told me to start attending a new church, I guess that won't happen now; apparently I'll "leave it be" with the LDS members this time.

If anyone wonders where I'll be, my new church is 
University Christian Church, just about 5 minutes down the street from the Family Ward. (And 3 minutes down the street from the Institute.) This wonderful gentlemen Kit Carson here reintroduced me to this church, which accommodates night owls like myself by holding contemporary 5 PM services on Saturday evenings. (Their other contemporary times are 9:45 and 11:15 the next day.)

President Wangsgaard left me messages; was unsure how to respond.



He called me at 11:53 AM on the 9th, and 2:01 PM the next day. I wasn't yet sure how I was going to break this news to him so I pressed the "Pass up Call" button (otherwise known as the red "End Call" in other contexts.)


His voicemail on the 9th was: "(Egao), good morning. This is Brother Wangsgaard calling. I wanted to call first to remind you of the satellite broadcast from Salt Lake City tomorrow at 7:00 at the Marlatt building for all young single adults. I look forward to seeing you there. I would also like a chance to visit together and see how things are going for you and how I can be of help to you, so if you could call me back please at 785-3##-3### and arrange a time to visit. Thanks so much. Have a good day."


And this was his message on the 10th: "(Egao), this is Brother Wangsgaard calling. I wanted to remind you of the Fireside broadcast this evening at 7:00 at the Marlatt building. Elder Neely Anderson, one of our newest apostles, will be speaking. I wanted to also visit if we could for a little bit. Could you please give me a call at 785-3##-3###? Thanks."


I wasn't trying to be rude; I just didn't know how to convey this to him (in way that I wanted and/or sounded best.) I wasn't sure what he was going to talk about either, but it may have involved being at Institute again.


I'm still willing to come back if only the following happens:



(At first, I thought of naming just their first names, but decided that there are other ways to hint at who they are on this public note.)


I'm only willing to disregard my family's orders and come back to Institute if:


  1. The member from Wichita who admitted to having anger issues, and has a significant other on a Service Mission until February, decides to forgive and reconcile with me.
  2. The former Army enlistee from Missouri who works at Copy Co. and drives a red GMC truck adds me back to their friends list here on Facebook.




#1 once mentioned that I did "things to scare them," though I wouldn't know what. I'm sure the scariness of whatever those actions were not intentional, and had I known in advance that they would be scary, I wouldn't have done them in the first place. I can also bet that the same actions that "scared" this member wouldn't faze the other members, so this is one more reason why I've felt like I must walk on eggshells for them. They didn't clarify what those actions were. I did attempt to apologize for the actions which I didn't know about, but they were too hardened and callous to accept the apology. (It didn't make them feel better in any way. After all, they did admit to having anger issues.)


(On a side-note, because of a pre-existing social condition that I admitted to in 12 parts this last July (find it yourself), some of the ways I interact with others may be unconventional; let's put it that way. Regarding anything that alienates anyone, they're unintentional over 95% of the time. #1 knew I had this condition for a long time, but wouldn't consider that a mitigating factor here.)


When I asked for #2 to help me mend the rift with #1, instead of being a sibling in Christ who helps each other pull out of emotional hardships, they decided to hurt me even more by betraying me in the way that I described. I thought siblings in Christ generally look out for one another and help each other with issues especially from within the church.


In retrospect though, I had a gut-feeling that I should've enlisted Charles's help instead. It was a toss-up for a little bit, but I chose #2 because I've been friends with them longer. However, Charles is a returned missionary, so he would've been the more ideal choice after all.


By the way, wouldn't a true Mormon forgive and reconcile with one another; observe ALL of the following verses in this link? If they don't, then this is not the kind of church I thought it was.


Happiness at churches



The only way I'll be happy at Institute again is if those relations get mended. There's no way I can be without that happening.


However, I expect those two requests to be tall orders, so this last plea is pretty likely to go unfulfilled, therefore I see myself continuing going to my new church.


The Missionaries and the rest of my LDS friends



Fortunately, my family didn't tell me not to associate with any Mormons any longer, so I can meet my LDS friends anywhere other than the Institute and Family Ward properties themselves. Meeting at bistros, ice rinks, and other places are fine.


Also, they can come visit my apartment if they wish. Even the missionaries can if they want, but no one should ask me to re-attend Institute until those two requests get fulfilled.


I'm still willing to be friends with Mormons because they're people like everyone else, and are often quite pleasant to be around. I've also learned to embrace diversity at K-State, so even if religious beliefs aren't compatible (any longer), we can still associate with one another for other reasons.

Future plans for "The Second Childhood" series (Personal Literary Entry)




Future plans for the story (Book 1) :

  • When Chapter 2 starts, his friends from preschool show up. Before Dad opens the door, Tanaka urges him to get nametags and label each and every one of them. (Because it would be awkward not to know ANY of their names!) He gives Dad the reason: "It'll look good on your video camera. We'll get to keep track of who everyone is when we watch the film! Sound good?" The door gets opened first, then Dad starts to look for the nametags. Tanaka thinks quick-on-his-feet, figuring up impromptu ways to buy time before the kids realize that Tanaka doesn't know who any of them are.
  • A cake will be formed in the shape of a Pokémon (as Tanaka has been a Pokémon fan), and one of the games will be "Pin the Tail on the Skarmory."
  • The kids will all be 4 & 5. Unfortunately, I haven't been around enough 4 & 5-year-olds lately to know how they're going to act. That's why I'm holding off on publishing Chapter 2. I may be going to need some ideas here.

  • A pediatric psychologist administers an IQ test. If a college sophomore possesses a 5-year-old's body, what do you think his IQ score is going to be?
  • He gets a free-ride scholarship to the most prestigious private Christian school in the area. The company/ies giving the scholarship reckon that his siblings may be as smart as Tanaka, so they all can opt to go there too.
  • (I haven't decided) Should he get AP'ed up to higher grades in the private school? I plan for him to skip up one grade every two weeks in Elementary, then every three in middle school. (The semester ends when he graduates 8th grade.)
  • He's starved for love, like any partying college sophomore would be, so he tries to make his babysitters his dating coaches, as a coaching session feels nearly every bit like a real date. (To get them to coach him in the first place, Tanaka "bribes" them by successfully helping them on their homework.) Dates will be kinda hard to come by for Tanaka for the next 5 or so years.
  • At some point, he'll get found out about his needing diapers at night by friends. Maybe when his older brother's friends have a sleepover, they'll catch Tanaka while he changes into his pajamas, or spot the top of his bedwetter's underpants above his pajamas, then you can surmise what those friends will do to him.
  • Weeks or months into the story, Tanaka will appear on local TV to be exhibited as a local child prodigy, what philanthropies he's participating in to help needy children, and etc. (His Mom works for a regional charity, so that helps him get to participate in some charity events.) 
  • Tanaka enters the Spelling Bee, and makes it to the Nationals. (I doubt he wins there though.)
  • Sometime in the summer, Tanaka will appear on a gameshow, if there are any gameshows around that allow 5-year-olds to be contestants. (I'll use a real kid's gameshow. If there is none that takes 5-year-olds, I'll put off on that 'til he's a bit older.)
  • Also in the summer, he'll get sent to a special camp for kids with bedwetting and bladder issues, and make lots of friends. He'll even have a love interest (or two) there.
  • Later in the summer, Tanaka will get to reunite with his original family from the prologue; from before he transferred bodies. Both families meet and have a great time with one another. 
  • He'll also get to meet his original body, who is now possessed by the original Tanaka. (That is, a 5 y.o. in a 20 y.o.'s body.) As you'd expect, he'll live in an assisted-living facility, being retrained from Kindergarten onwards. (Fortunately, he'll learn at least as fast as he would have otherwise; there's no brain damage that limits his learning ability, though of course medical professionals swear there is some kind of lasting brain injury. In fact, he'll learn faster thanks to the specialized attention that the one-on-one tutoring gives him.) 

For Book 2 of the series:

  • Book 1 will end when, sometime late in their summer vacation, the family boards a flight to Japan.
  • They will stay for a little bit, and drop Tanaka off to live with his Dad's side of the family for a year. (Summer 2005 - Summer 2006) (Somewhere in the northern quarter of Honshu; likely Hachinohe, Aomori Prefecture.)  
  • He'll be an "average" kid again because his Japanese ability will be at par with kids his age. (Although mathematics and other "universal" subjects regardless of language will still be another matter.)
  • His aunt and uncle will deal with Tanaka's bedwetting and urgent bladder in a different way, and decide to keep him in diapers 24/7, whereas he was in-and-out of diapers back in America.
  • The English teacher at his school, a charming young lady from the UK, will be his "counselor" (as she's the only one he can adequately talk to about any life issues of the day). She'll make him her personal "teacher aide" for the classes she teaches since he's the only student at the school who speaks English natively. (And remember, at the level of a college student.)
  • I haven't decided whether he'll attempt to run away from home, but he'll be tempted to as his uncle is kinda strict.
  • During times of distress, he'll make international calls to the 700 Club via Skype. (However, if Skype wasn't around in the above time-period, I guess I'll have to omit that.) 
  • He'll regularly blog like before, and email his parents and siblings back home.
  • He'll have fun in ways he couldn't back in America, and in more intense ways too. (Japan is more childhood-friendly than America is. I studied abroad there one semester so I know firsthand.)
  • I haven't yet decided on who his Japanese cousins will be, what their personalities will be like, and how many he'll have.
  • Toward the end of Book 2, his family from America will visit again for a little while, and take Tanaka on a flight to Korea.

For Book 3 of the series:

  • Book 3 starts on the flight to Korea, where they eventually visit his Mom's side of the family.
  • His aunt and uncle here will decide that Tanaka must be diaper-free under all circumstances, and will get him out of diapers for the last time in his life. 
  • On road trips, they will pull off the road to get him to use the rest room whenever he needs to. If there's no rest area close by, he'll just urinate in the ditch.
  • His Korean Aunt & Uncle will be pretty kind folks, at least as kind as Tanaka's parents back in New York, if not kinder.
  • Cellphones get popular with kids in Korea at around this time, so Tanaka eventually gets his first cellphone. He even gets to take it back home to America and put it on one of our networks.
  • I haven't yet decided on who his Korean cousins will be, what their personalities will be like, and how many he'll have.
  • (I haven't yet firmly decided on this, but...) He may have a girlfriend from 6th grade. (Any objections? If so, then she'll just be a dating coach.)
  • His family arrives there again in the Summer of 2007, stays for a little while, then takes him back to New York. The story ends when they board the flight.

Book 4 and Beyond:

  • Tanaka appears on more game shows.
  • Tanaka AP's into the high school of the same private school's system he was in just 2 1/2 years prior.
  • He starts in honors-level courses, and advances one high school grade every 9 weeks.
  • Even though Tanaka no longer needs diapers himself, he seeks out girls somewhat older than him who still have bedwetting problems and/or urinary incontinence, as he considers that "cute."
  • Of course, he'll still seek out high school girls/babysitters for "dating coaching sessions."
  • After he graduates high school with high honors, a 3.9-4.1 GPA range, and full-ride scholarships in June 2008, he starts his 4 years of undergrad at SUNY Albany.
  • (That means this semester, he's in his second semester of his sophomore year there.)
  • I haven't yet decided what his major will be.
  • (I suppose that as soon as he turns 11, the book will start being called "The Second Adolescence.")
  • After he graduates in May 2012, he goes on to Grad School at MIT, through another full-ride scholarship.
  • I haven't yet decided where his direction will be from there, but his future shines ever so brilliantly.
Anywhere in the Series:

  • Tanaka (really, I) will start a novel on a child visited by an angel in 1910, who casts a spell on him to stop aging at 10 years old for the next 90 years. (After, he ages 1 year for every 10 years that pass. That means he will look 11 this year, and be old enough to drive, a hovercar.) (I will use Tanaka's name as my "pen name.") I haven't yet decided when Tanaka will start on this novel, but it will be published by him in the story, and by me in the real world.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Coping With a Broken Heart (K-State article; literary entry)


I thought this was worth keeping somewhere, so I placed it here.

(Original source: http://hdamplified.k-state.edu/article/26764?t=Dxyww)

Coping With a Broken Heart

Leave a Comment

Were you dumped out of the blue? Have you loved and lost? Anyone who has been there will tell you, breaking up is more than hard to do. It stinks. Big time.
You're probably dealing with waves of sadness, anger, confusion and maybe self-doubt and jealousy. Most relationships end, so everyone goes through it at some point, and broken hearts have inspired millions of songs and poems. While there's no surefire cure for a broken heart, these time-tested tips could help soften the blow.

  1. Talk to someone you trust.
    A friend, your suitemate, a brother or sister or one of your parents—just as long as it is someone who will listen. Then let it all out. A good friend won't let you feel sorry for yourself very long. And you shouldn't either.


  2. Have a good cry.
    There's no shame in crying every now and then, and breaking up can be really, really hard. (By the way, all you macho men, tough guys cry, too.). Cry and let it all out in writing if that works for you, but then do something fun. You may feel like being alone for a while, but that doesn't mean you can't read, listen to music or do other things that are perfect for solo time.


  3. Be good to yourself.
    Remember what's good about you. This one is really important. It can be easy to blame yourself for the break-up—if only you were smarter or more attractive or richer or. . .you name it! Ask your friends—they'll remind you of all your good qualities! You don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you, right?


  4. Stay busy.
    Go out to the movies, see a concert or go out with friends…anything that keeps you distracted and occupied. Get out of your room when you're ready. It will make you feel better.


  5. Don't do anything you'll regret.
    If you sling mud, you'll end up dirty! Spreading rumors or betraying confidences for revenge will only come back to you and hurt you in the end. And if someone does it to you, don't play their game—you'll be the loser if you do.


  6. Focus on the future.
    It's normal to think about what you had and lost. When a relationship ends, some people obsess about things they think they did wrong, or how things could have turned out differently. Instead, learn from this experience and make some changes for the next relationship, but don't dwell on the past. Hindsight is always 20/20 so don't put yourself down for things that can't be changed. Give yourself a few days, and then start thinking about what you want in the future and how to get it. Change is always hard, but it's an opportunity for growth and new experiences.


  7. Give yourself time to heal.
    Even if it feels like you've been kicked in the gut, that awful feeling will go away in time. Getting over a breakup can take days, weeks or months, but it will happen—if you let it.


  8. Get professional help if you need it.
    Most broken hearts heal after a while. But if you're still miserable after a few weeks, if you are using drugs or alcohol to feel better, if you can't sleep or get things done or if you're growing more depressed every day, don't go it alone. Visit the school's counseling center and talk to someone who can help you move on and feel better. You'll be glad you did.

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Current Events at Askville (Personal entry)




Is there anything you wish to say about the current goings-on at Askville?

I added "-owari" to my username there because 終わり (おわり) means "the end."

I've also mentioned in my bulletin board: "Alternate username: "Boku wa shuuryou shi te i na." In Japanese: 僕は終了していな" I believe you have the resources online to translate what that says. 

http://askville.amazon.com

As you can see on Post #3 here, my last words ever on that site were "That dust had better be tasty!" (Alluding to the Queen hit "Another One Bites the Dust.")

The comments are unmoderated (so will therefore post immediately), and even anons may post. and users will now have to log in with a username before they can post, as there appears to be impersonation through anonymity. However, all spambots will still need to pass a CAPTCHA test in order to succeed.

Friday, January 08, 2010

Why can't we Flutherites forgive each other? Why do you find it so hard to forgive some of the fellow users here?

This question was pushed back to editing, so I rescued the content and whisked it to my blogpage. I was able to only because I left a tab open that displayed that question & discussion.


Question

EgaoNoGenki's avatar

Why can't we Flutherites forgive each other? Why do you find it so hard to forgive some of the fellow users here?

Asked by EgaoNoGenki (576points) | asked 11 minutes ago | 2 responses | “Great Question” (1points) | Flag as…
Here are some relevant Bible verses about forgiveness and reconciliation:
Matthew 6:14–15:
14 Yes, if you forgive others for their sins, your Father in heaven will also forgive you for your sins. 15 But if you don’t forgive others, your Father in heaven will not forgive your sins.
Ephesians 4:26:
26 And don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry…
Romans 5:10:
“For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.”
So to those of you who aren’t fond of me for being myself, or for wronging you (albeit in indirect ways), what do you find so difficult about forgiving me?
Now that you’ve seen these verses, and realize that the Lord won’t forgive you unless you forgive, what do you plan to do?
Observing members: 1 Composing members: 0

Answers

EgaoNoGenki's avatar
Here’s also something kind of related:
Romans 12:20–21
20: Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.”
21: Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.
AnonymousGirl's avatar
There’s someone to forgive on here? :/
johnpowell's avatar
I this something that I would need to believe in god to understand?
jonsblond's avatar
I like fluther because most of the users are forgiving.
‘Whatcha talkin bout Willis,’
ccrow's avatar
Have I missed something?? I’m confused….
DominicX's avatar
Well, it might not have been super quick, but I’ve pretty much resolved all the “beefs” I had with other users, which is pretty damn good. :)
fireinthepriory's avatar
Agree with @jonsblond! I never find myself thinking about little tiffs I may have had with other users. I’m far more likely to remember good interactions.
jackm's avatar
i hate everyone
Spinel's avatar
On the “all” questions pages, I don’t see wars, even though I do see the occasional debate. I see questions on life issues and every topic under the sun except personal attacks. On user’s profiles I see talk about themselves, and again no personal attacks, no lists of enemies.
Where exactly is this war zone your referring to?
Jeruba's avatar
I have no involvement with or interest in the stories behind this question, but I do wonder this: have you asked them to forgive you?
laureth's avatar
What is there to forgive? No one has sinned against me. :) We might differ in opinion, but that’s not a hangin’ offense.
FireMadeFlesh's avatar
In my experience, people on Fluther can have vigorous conversations and strong disagreements without letting it affect their friendships. There is no reason to take offence in the majority of cases.
Also, most people on Fluther don’t care what the Bible says, myself included.
avvooooooo's avatar
Posting miscellaneous Bible quotes here will get pretty much the same response as it did on Askville. When someone hasn’t changed, doesn’t intend to change, and isn’t sorry at all, they aren’t going to be “forgiven.”
phoenyx's avatar
@EgaoNoGenki
You are going about fluther forgiveness in the wrong way. Quoting bible verses isn’t it. Try reconciliation or saying you’re sorry.
smashbox's avatar
If a person on Fluther, or anywhere else can’t forgive me, or I them, then I would do my best to avoid any conversation (comments) with them. I wouldn’t waste my time, asking for forgiveness. Fluther is temporary, and no one is forced to comment to anyone.
There are too many people on Fluther for me to have fun and conversate with, than to waste my time, trying to be forgiven, by someone who can’t forgive.
avvooooooo's avatar
On a side note, since you seem intent on the same behaviors that caused something to happen on that other side today, as evidenced by the asking of the same question on here, you’re probably going to get the same result.
Spinel's avatar
@EgaoNoGenki Check out Matthew 18:15–16
MagsRags's avatar
You seem to feel that the bible verses are some sort of weapon like Medusa’s head?
AstroChuck's avatar
Just don’t do it again.
avvooooooo's avatar
@MagsRags You hit the nail on the head. “Now that you’ve seen these verses, and realize that the Lord won’t forgive you unless you forgive, what do you plan to do?” is just like saying “Forgive me for what I did or burn in hell.”
jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar
I don’t know any of the back story on the issues between you and other users, but why do you care if other people (in your words – ) aren’t fond of you for being yourself? If you did something to offend them, then that’s one thing, but if you were simply being yourself, then who cares what others think of you?
jmah's avatar
Man, it’s been a weird last couple of days on Fluther
I agree with @FireMadeFlesh.
Buttonstc's avatar
Well since you insist on being all Biblical about this, why not do a little research on the law of sowing and reaping ? Christ expounded on it sufficiently for even a third grader to understand.
Whatsoever you sow, that shall you also reap.
It’s also expressed in other religions as the principle of Karma. You get back the same type of energy which you put out into the world.
In science it’s known as cause and effect.
Personally, I try to forgive as much as possible as I don’t like to be tied to negativity.
But there is a big difference between forgiving and forgetting. Someone may forgive you for whatever you’ve done, but may understandably be reluctant to continue interacting with you. Perhaps this is what you are experiencing.
Most of the folks I’ve gotten familiar with on Fluther aren’t the unforgiving type. Very few hold grudges. So, what is it that you are experiencing then? And what is it that you’ve done that may have been a contributing factor ?
If you would like an example of one interaction which I witnessed, drop me a PM. Since it didn’t really involve me, except as an observer, I don’t feel comfortable discussing it in a public way, but it may give you a clue…
Or maybe not. But I offer it as an observation. If you can learn something from it, fine. If not….?
I’m not holding any grudges, merely observations.
delirium's avatar
I’M MELTING, I’M MELTING NOOOOOOOOoooo
DrBill's avatar
This is a site for people to express their opinion, good, bad, or indifferent, having an opinion is not a sin, even if it is wrong.
jamielynn2328's avatar
I guess this was the wrong week to be busy and in other places besides fluther. Debate is healthy. If someone seems to be fighting with you, maybe it’s because they never agree with you. If you don’t let it bother you, I am positive that it will just go away. You are the only one keeping the negativity alive through…um.. through Jesus I guess.
PandoraBoxx's avatar
In general, forgiveness usually involves contriteness on the part of at least one party.
jbfletcherfan's avatar
There’s a fluther member here who has an issue with me that they won’t forgive. It has nothing to do with fluther. This was a personal issue on an email. I have tried to explain my side of it. I meant things in jest, but it was taken wrong. They won’t have any of it. I’ve reached out to them to no avail. We were friends for a long time, so this hurts. I don’t ever see this person forgiving me, sadly & it’s a stab in the heart when I see them here. Some people’s minds are closed to any attempt of reconciliation.
filmfann's avatar
I already told the assholes I forgive them.
skfinkel's avatar
Who did what to whom?
chyna's avatar
@skfinkel I don’t know but it seems a little grade schoolish.
ubersiren's avatar
I’ve never had a disagreement with someone who I didn’t later have kind words with. There was one case where I was really offended by a user, but it eventually resolved itself. I’ve never come across permanent resentment on fluther.
I read the verses, but I didn’t “realize” anything. The Lord had nothing to do with my forgiveness.
Jeruba's avatar
@jmah, now that you mention it, I have to agree.
I’ve noticed that questions about fluther do often seem to attract weirdness. It’s sort of like asking the eye to observe itself.
Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar
So I see the question, then I see the details – now I don’t want to forgive anyone….joking, joking…this will come off as arrogant and, perhaps, it is but I only forgive people that I truly really respect…in that I can’t even be mad at people I barely know…even if they say hateful stuff to me, it doesn’t matter, they’re not ‘on my level’ to forgive or not forgive…they deserve neither…the only people I can forgive are my best friend, husband and children…the rest I will forgive but not forget.
galileogirl's avatar
@EgaoNoGenki You’ve been on Fluther for 3 weeks and you seem to think you have an enemy, hmmm. When I looked up your activity I noticed in your 15 days you have asked 37 questions. I didn’t recognize your name, but I have’t been active the last 2 weeks. Your questions are very specific and very personal to you.
Questions about Fluther, topics that most of us have learned about through observation
Questions, that are closer to statements, about how Apsbergers has affected you.
Questions about getting into the military-possibly related to your dtagnosis.
Questions related to some ridiculous fictioal scenarios. Aha! I did answer one of your questions. I thought it was a real if immature question but quickly realized you were trying to control discussions because you had poor interpersonal skills. My reaction was to remove questions about Aspergers’, why can’t I get in the military and how does Fluther work-all bwcause I found them uninteresting. I removed your fictional entries because I thought they were silly. And I didn’r realize they were all coming from the same Jelly until today.
What I think what you characterize as lack of forgiveness is really that someone who was frustrated by your lack of communications skills, basically called you on it. Then you might have tried to change their mind, further aggravating the discussion.
Now I might be totally wrong. You may understand exactly what you are doing. Either way there are people like me who remove your questions without even opening them and others who try to help you until they realize you are not listening. Either way you are projecting your pathology on others and you are being marginalized.
Also using the bible as a source for proof for your arguments is not acceptable. T find a dictionary or the works of Shakespeare giv just as much insight into the human condition. The bible is not the literal truth to many, so why do you think citing quotations will advance your opinions?